Matthew Daddario imagines

kiss me before i lose my fucking mind

lyrics imagine 

I
Should have told
You how I really feel
A little in advance

Then I
Would've had some time
To go and work it out
I think I've lost my chance

I watched as Magnus approached my 3 year long crush Alec Lightwood. We had known each other for 4 years after my parents sent me to the New York institute. There I had met my parabibiti Izzy, friend Jace and of course Alec. We didn't get on at first but after me and Iz became parabibiti he relised I was sticking around. For the last 3 years we had been flirtasiously teasing each other but nothing happened. I was to scared to tell him. Now I had to watch this warlock fawn over him. Don't get me wrong I love downworlders but this is testing my patience.

For the last 3 years I just hid it so well
Hoping that you'd figure it out because I never could tell it
Straight to your face

Izzy looked at me with a sad smile as she saw me staring at the two. She walked over "I'm sure its nothing".

"mmm" I responded. we were waiting for Clary to finish drawing the chalk thingy, yeh I didn't rely pay attention. "Maybe you should tell him?" Iz suggested for the 100th time. "You and I both know I don't have the guts."

Never have I ever woken up in a cold hard sweat
From a dream wondering
If you'd ever say "goodbye"
If I didn't say it first

"I'm starving" Jace complained. "Yeh me too, I'm gonna run down to the corner shop. I'll grab you some crisps/chips(I call them crisps but the US says chips so I'll write both) You want anything Iz?" I questioned walking to the door.

"No thanks" "Ok what about you Alec?" He was snapped out of his daze "Ehh sure a can of cola"

"Ok, be to secs bye." Jace and Izzy said bye as I stood in the door way. "Bye Alec.." I reminded him.

"Oh Yeah bye" As I walked out the apartment I couldn't help but wonder if he would even notice.

I'm done
Playing these games
I can't believe what I'm about to say
I won't tell you goodbye
With my love left behind
Kiss me before I
Fucking lose my
Mind

As I was walking back I decided I would tell him tonight. By the time I got back up they had already done the spell and failed. "Oh well heres your drink anyway" I went o hand the blue eyed boy his drink when he said "No its fine. Magnus summoned me one up after you left. "Oh"

"Sorry you left before I could say" Magnus said. "Its fine" I smiled walking out with Izzy.

No
No more nights
Drink until my loneliness
Up till 2 AM

No
No more waiting
Pacing round the bar
Hoping that you might walk in

That night I went to a downworlder bar and just sat and drink. I left Alec a note saying I would be there and he should come to. I figured it would be easier to tell him if I was tipsy. Well now I was drunk and looking at the door.

"You alright?" Maia asked. "Yeh just drank a bit much" I said paying off my tab.

Never have I ever woken up in a cold hard sweat
From a dream wondering
If you'd ever say "goodbye"
If I didn't say it first

I'm done
Playing these games
I can't believe what I'm about to say
No I won't tell you goodbye
With my love left behind
Kiss me before I
Fucking lose my mind

I woke up the next morning with a hang over. Alec opened my door. "Uhh you reek like whiskey" he joked "get ready we have a mission."

"With who?" I sat up. "Just us" He left. Fuck it I thought. This is driving be insane.

I'm done
Playing these games

After the mission we were walking back when I stopped him. "Alec I gotta tell you something and you cant flip"

"Ok"
I can't believe what I'm about to say

I took a breath in.
Cause I would rather die
Then feeling this inside
Tricks played on my mind
No I would rather die

″What is it Y/N?"
Then just tell you goodbye
With my love left behind

Could I just run away? No never.

"I love you Alec" I looked down then he said

"Kiss me before I
Fucking lose my
Mind "