Matthew Daddario imagines

the calling of a demon pt1

Two weeks, three days, and twelve hours since Alec had broken up with me. In that time, I have had maybe twelve hours of sleep at the most. I have no idea how I'm still standing.

All I know is that every time I lay down to sleep in my room, I toss and turn and just want to feel Alec's arm wrapped around me. I want to sleep back in his bed. I can't stomach any type of food; the thought of food makes my stomach roll.

I have been living off coffee and truth be told, I really don't like it, but the need for caffeine has become important to my life now.

I've been avoiding Alec since he and I broke up. Avoiding him also means not being around Izzy and Jace, not that I blame them. He's their brother and I was just his girlfriend, but I thought they were my friends too. Part of me knew that this was coming. I knew that something, maybe everything, changed.

When Jace came back with clary after he had saved her from the demon, our world went to hell. Trying to help her find her mom and get her memories back. Taking her to the Silent City only to find out that she was Valentine's daughter. So much happened that Alec and I weren't seeing one another. I didn't want to look too much into it. I loved him so much that I just overlooked it. That was my fault.

Or maybe it was Alec's. He just invested so much time with Clary and Mangus helping them and I can't blame him for that. Behind all of the walls that he put up, he really is such a sweet and kind person. That was the person that I fell hopelessly in love with. Even after the breakup, I still love him. That's the worst of this breakup. That no matter how hurt I am, I still love him.

Laying there in bed, lost in thought, thinking back on everything that has happened, I almost missed the knock that sounded on my door.

"Yes?" I call out.

"Y/N, we have a mission." My friend, Katlin, said to me as she walked into my room.

"Alright, give five minutes to get ready." I roll out of my bed and stand on my feet. Walking into the bathroom, I pull a brush through my Y/H/C hair before pulling it up and off my neck. Once done in the bathroom, I walk back into my room and over to my dresser. Pulling out a clean shirt, I take the one I am wearing off before pulling the new one on.

Once my Converse are pulled on, I walk out of my bedroom and to the armory. Grabbing my twin blades, I go to turn and see Alec standing in ops with Jace and Izzy. I can feel my heart breaking even more.

I can see that Alec has dark circles under his eyes showing that he seems to be getting as much sleep as I am. When Jace thinks that Alec will not notice, he looks at him with concern. It is then that he notices I'm standing there looking across ops at them. When he catches my eye, I turn in a hurry and walk to the doors. I can hear footsteps fast approaching me.

"Y/N, wait." I hear called behind me. I stop walking and turn to see Jace walking towards me.

"Do you need something Jace?" I ask when he is standing in front of me.

"No, I just wanted to talk to you," Jace asks as he looks me up and down taking in my appearance. Jace also knows me well enough to tell that I'm not doing okay at all. But not wanting to stand here and talk to him.

"I'm sorry, Jace but I got a mission with Katlin to go on. How about when I get back?" I ask him with what I hope passes as a smile on my face, but failing if Jace's face is anything to go by.

"Sure, come and find me in ops," Jace says to me. I nod my head in understanding before turning and walking to the doors.

"And Y/N, be careful."

Once outside, I can feel the New York sun warm my face. I almost feel alive at that moment with the sun on my face and the wind blowing across me.

"Took you long enough," Katlin says as I fall into step beside her as we walk down the sidewalk.