Matthew Daddario imagines

is that what you want

  The thing about being a Shadowhunter is that you get married young and sometimes not to the person that you want to be with. By that, I mean that you never get to marry who you want. That's what happened with mine and Alec's wedding. However, the wedding was for the good of both of our families, so we went with it. We agreed to our parents' wishes and decided that a union between our families would make us two stronger. Alec's parents were kind enough to send us on a honeymoon to London.
"I know you don't love me Alec." We were sitting alone in a room, preparing for London. His head whipped around to look at me. He walked over to where I sat on the bed and calmly sat down next to me. I can't help but think about our relationship that. We've known each other since we were little. We grew up together, playing and fighting. I remember when Jace came to live with the Lightwoods. I remember the birth of Izzy. The Lightwood siblings and Jace are more of my family than my parents could ever hope to be. I think that is why agreeing to marry Alec was so easy for me.
When Alec asked me to marry him, I knew that he was only asking because he had a some say in who he was marrying. I guess he felt that in marrying his best friend, he could eventually fall in love. I felt the same way, knowing that I would never get the same choice. I hoped for the same thing Alec did.
"I will." Alec stated simply, taking my hand in his. I smile at the kind gesture. We have plenty of good memories and they keep me believing.
"Alec, I'm not blind. I know your heart will never be with me. We're best friends. We've been together since I could remember. But love in a romantic way? I don't think that we can have that." I look into his clear hazel eyes. They are so beautiful in color and they shine with his emotions. They have always made him easy to read, if you paid attention. He hangs his head low, knowing that what I'm saying is true. We both deserve to be loved, truly and deeply.
"Alec, I just want you to be happy. We did this for our families and I know that there's high expectations for us. To run the Institute together and start a family–" I can see his face turn a pale color at the mention of the two of us having children. It's all the confirmation that I need to tell me that what I've always suspected to be true. I just wish that Alec didn't feel like he had to hide from me. I hoped that he would know that I would be there for him no matter what.
"Alec, are you gay?" My voice small. If it's possible, Alec's face gets even paler than before. Maybe even a little green. I can feel my heart break at the thought of Alec thinking that I would hate him for his sexuality.
"I..." Alec seems to be at a loss for words, which I can understand.
"Alec, you deserve to be loved! I don't care if you're gay. That doesn't matter to me. You are still you. This doesn't change anything. You're my best friend no matter what, and I will always love you in a truly platonic way." Alec's hand is still in mine and I squeeze his hand hoping to let him know that I will stand by him no matter what. That his sexuality means nothing to me. Alec is still Alec no matter what.
"It doesn't change anything. We're married." Alec looks down at my hands.
"Yes, it does. It's not too late. If we get back to the Silent Brothers, we can have the marriage dissolved and the runes removed."
"What!?" Alec yells out.
"It's still within the first forty eight hours of the wedding. The rune can still be removed." I'm surprised by the shock on his face. "Would you want to do that?" My voice barely above a whisper.
"Is it what you want?" He looks at me.
"I just want you to be happy, Alec. I know that you could never be truly happy with me. So, yes, I think that we should." I look at him honestly.
"Thank you."
Walking back over to the nightstand, I send a text to Magnus and ask him if he can open a portal in London for us. He said that he could open one in a local park and I text back a quick thanks. I hadn't bothered to unpack. I take Alec's hand and we leave the room and make our way to the park. When we get to the park, I can see Magnus standing near a tree with a look of confusion on his face.
"What's going on?" Magnus questions as we approach him.
"We decided the we're allowed to be happy and to be ourselves." Alec looks at me with big eyes before walking walking up to Magnus. Alec lets go of my hands and moves to Magnus in two quick steps.
Alec grabs Magnus and pulls him into a kiss. The moment that Alec's lips meet Magnus', Magnus arms wrap around Alec's waist. My heart warms at the idea that Alec can be himself and be truly happy. He pulls back from the kiss and looks Magnus in the eyes as if telling him that this is really what he wants.
"Okay, okay. I'm happy for you and all, Alec, but let's get back before it's too late." I say with a smile on my face. They pull back then and look at me. Alec's face turns bright red and Magnus' face is the picture of pure shock.
"What just happened?" Magnus' heart finally slows enough for him to speak to Alec and I.
"I told you, Magnus. We decided that we're allowed to be happy and to be ourselves." I shrug my shoulders.
"We did this, got married, for our families. The dissolution is for us. For our happiness." Alec looks at me with appreciation.
"Magnus, I'm saying this as Alec's best friend. You better treat him right. He deserves the world." I pat Alec's shoulder.
"I don't think I have ever gotten the shovel talk before." There's humor in his eyes and I laugh at the light moment.
"Come on, you two. Let's get back to the Institute."
With a movement of Magnus' hands, a portal opens up for the three of us. We step into the portal and into the Institute the next second, right into the room that Alec and I are meant to share.
"Let's go, Alec. We need to get to the Silent City."
We rush from the room, careful to avoid anyone, not wanting to be seen yet. We make it to the Silent City in record time. Magnus is waiting for us on the outside of the city. We carefully make our way in.
It doesn't take long for us to find the Silent Brothers and explain that we don't want to be married. That we want it to be dissolved. It doesn't take long for a Silent Brother to do the ceremony to remove the rune from us, freeing us of the marriage and letting us be ourselves. Alec grabs my hand as we walk out of the Silent City, the gesture not that uncommon for us. Right now, Alec is taking my hand as if he is trying to give me some strength.
The removal of the rune is hard and difficult leaving me tired. I wanted to climb into bed and sleep for the next week. As we finally step out of the city, I can see Magnus pacing outside the door. When he catches sight of Alec and I, he make his way to us. He pulls Alec into a hug, causing Alec to lose hold of my hand. Magnus pulls back from Alec and pulls me into a hug as well.
"Thank you." Magnus whispers into my ear before pulling back from me. Magnus once again opens up a portal and we step into it and return to the Institute. Alec and I walk up the steps and open the front door. When we both get to the main room of the Institute, everyone seems to stop and look at us. It's Izzy that breaks the silence that seems to have fallen over everyone.
"Alec! Y/N! What are you doing back so soon?" I look to Alec, not knowing how he wants to tell his family. Before we can answer, Alec's mother walks into the room and sees us.
"We need to talk." Alec says to his mother, with all of the authority that he has in him. The same voice that he uses to run the Institute. She doesn't even seem to question him she just turns on her heels and walks to her office. When the door closes behind us, it seems Izzy has managed to come with us into the office.
"What are you two doing back?" Maryse asks once she turns back to us and sits at her desk.
"We had the wedding runes removed." Alec says straight to the point. Maryse's eyes grow wide and I can hear Izzy let out a small gasp.
"Why would you do that!" Maryse all but yells at the both of us.
"We decided that we have the right to be happy. That we had the right to be who we want to be." I said to her as calmly as I could.
"What do you mean be happy? You both are going to be happy." Maryse says to us after a heart beat.
"We got married because that's what you wanted. We got married because that is what was expected of us. Not because it's what we wanted." Alec explains and I don't think that I could have put it any better.
"Are you saying that I am putting my reputation before what my children want, Alec?" Maryse say to the both of us, even if she is only directing it towards Alec.
"It might not be what you think that you're doing, but sadly it is." I say before Alec even has the chance to open his mouth.
"You didn't object to the marriage did you, Y/N?" She turns her glare onto me, but I stand my ground. I will not back down to this woman any more.
"Alec, Izzy, and Jace are the closest thing I have to a family. I just want them to be happy. Alec asked me to marry him and I said yes, because I thought that's what he wanted, but now I just want him to be happy."
Maryse storms out of the room after a moment, slamming the door as she goes. I turn to look at Alec who has this look of shock on his face. When our eyes meet, we both can't help but breaking out laughing.
"So, are you going to tell your mother about-"
"Not yet. Maybe when she calms down a little." Alec lets out a long breath.
"She is going to be so pissed about that." I can't help but let out a small laugh.
"Tell me about it." Before I could tell him anymore, someone clears their throat. We turn to look at Izzy, who we had forgotten had come into the room.
"What did I miss!" Izzy says when she notices that she has both of our attentions.
"Oh. You know, Alec just kissed Magnus." I throw over my shoulder as I walk out of the room.
"What? Alec!" I laugh as I make my way to my room. Life just got a lot more interesting.