REJECTED BY MY MATE (BOYxBOY)

Chapter Twenty Eight

Chapter Twenty Eight

Adam

There was never a lot of speaking between us but once we got comfortable with each other we couldn’t stop. He was the talker between the two of us. He really loved his own voice and it would make me smile when he would laugh uncontrollably at something I just said whether it was funny or not. I love his laugh and his smile especially when his eyes would crinkle up. Right now looking in his eyes I see no sparkle of life whenever he laughs. I see the hardness behind it and a light that sparked into flames the moment I told him what I overheard. He doesn’t speak. His hand is clenched in mind and I wince in pain but I do not let go. I want to say something but nothing comes out. I constantly drag my fingers through my hair waiting for him to say something. My heart clench when I see his jaw stiffen and his eyes turn into an ice cold grey that I only ever seen once in my life. He lets go of my hand to stand up and he walk towards where he put his clothes down. He gets dress and still he says nothing.

“Stay here.” His voice send a chill down my spine and I know at that moment he is going to do something that might not go into his favour. “Please don’t go while you in this mode.” I pleaded with him hoping that he would listen to me. “What do expect me to do?” He barked at me. I looked at him as though I still the kid that he rejected a few years ago. I backed away from him and I can feel the tears pooling in my eyes. Just seeing him like this and he shouting at me took me back to the time he rejected me as a mate. I just realise that this was the same man that never wanted to be with me in the first place.  I guess that he saw something in my eyes because his eyes soften at that moment. “Adam, look I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean to shout at you. I just…” “Just stop talking to me and do what you want because obviously no one’s feelings matters but your feelings isn’t Luke?” I spat at him and he wanted to say something but I beat him to it. “You never cared, did you? All you wanted was to be the Alpha of your pack and I was the only thing you need for it wasn’t it? You don’t care about anyone but yourself. God I really believed that you changed. Instead of staying here and trying to figure out what to do you want to go head first to do what you want and it doesn’t matter what I think. You just going to do what you want anyway.” I can see he was struggling to say something back to me but I just turned my back on him. “I told you what I overheard because I thought that we would do something about it together but as always Luke has to do something right away without thinking first. You know what you are? You selfish that’s what you are, nothing but a selfish person that can think about nothing else but what they want.” “You know that that’s not true.” He whispered to me while trying to pull me in his arms. “Just leave. I don’t want to be around you right now.” I told him as I walked away from him.

“No, let’s talk this out.” He said and his voice was soft but firm.

“What’s there to talk about? Clearly the only thing you care about is doing something right now, now what is stopping you?” I still refuse to look at him because if I do I know I would just forgive him like I always do and right at the moment I didn’t want to. I am so tired of forgiving his stupidity.

“I’m sorry about just acting without thinking it through but don’t think for a moment that I don’t care about you.”

“Oh really? Now you care? You didn’t care when you wanted to race out of the door to do whatever you wanted.”

“I was angry and I still am. What do you expect me to do?” He screamed at me and all I can do is look at him. I didn’t know what to say to him. At this moment the only thing that is going through my head is: did I made a mistake? Did I give in to easily to him? If I have to be honest with myself maybe I did give in too easily but back then I was so overwhelmed with everything and the Elders was backing me in a corner with the ultimatum that they gave me that it could be that I gave in too soon. Looking at him now I’m starting to realise that he is still the same boy from back then. I didn’t want to cry about this but it was hard not to with the he was looking at me like that. It was the same look that he had when he rejected me. “Maybe mating with you was a mistake.” I said without realising I just spoke my mind. His eyes widen and he opened his mouth to say something but closed it again as though he was a fish without water. He turned away from me. His back was so tense that I can see his muscles bulging through his shirt. He didn’t say anything for a long time and I didn’t dare to say anything either. He finally turned around and his eyes is ice cold and I can see the fire burning behind it. It scared me a little. “I don’t know what to say about that.” He spoke out at last before continuing “Why didn’t you say anything to me before now?” His voice was soft and it broke a little at the end. “I don’t know. Everything was happening so fast and the Elders was cornering me, you telling me I had no choice and before I knew it I just gave in.” I expressed. I cannot look him in his eyes because I know what would be in it. “I didn’t want to mate with you back then but I didn’t have a choice. You of all people knew that I didn’t have a choice. It was either mate with you or die and believe me I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to leave my family again either.” I told him or more like shouted at him. He looked at me as though he didn’t recognise me at that moment. “I need to think.” He finally said after sometime and I can hear his voice cracking in the end as though his was about to cry but didn’t want anyone to know. He walked to the door and I that was when I started to panic. “Luke!”  I called out for him. He stopped as he was opening the door. “What?” “You can’t leave like this. You wanted to talk now let’s talk about it.”

“What do you want me to say?” his voice was bitter and he turned towards me. I can see the tears in his eyes. “I don’t know, maybe how you feel?” I was not sure if I was saying the right thing or not but I was hoping it was the right thing. “You want to know how I feel?” he let go of the door handle and took a step towards me. “I feel betrayed. I feel like every dream I had for the two of us was shuttered into a millions of pieces. How could you not say anything about how you felt before everything happened between us?” This time tears was sliding down his face. For the first time I could see that he is really hurt about what I said. “I did tell you.” “When?” he shouted at me and this time I refuse to back down from him. “Was it when I gave you the mating bite or before at the time I thought we made love? I wanted to be with you not be the Alpha. When you run away all I could think of was that I would give up everything just to be with you. Adam, I might have not shown it at first but I love you more than anything in this world. I would have gladly gave up my life for you and I still would. How can you doubt my love for you?” I wanted to comfort him but I knew that he would not welcome it from me any time soon. I was about to say something but he spoke before I can get anything out.

“I never wanted to be the Alpha of this pack because of all the pressure the pack put on me. I didn’t reject you because I was ashamed to be with you. I rejected you because that was what the pack expected me to do. When I found out you were my mate for that one moment I was completely happy and relieved but I knew that I couldn’t do what my heart wanted because that was not what the pack wanted. I knew I made a mistake the moment I rejected you and right now this is the proof of it. I am sorry if I forced you into the mating and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life.” The way Luke looked at me while he was speaking made my heart break all over again. He looked so broken and defected. He always looked so big and strong and when he smiled it made everyone want to be around him but right now he looked like the little boy that was mourning his mother’s death all those years ago. “Luke I…” I didn’t know what to say to him after what he said. “Look I know you confuse right now and need time but I also need time to think about all of this.” Luke whispered as he walked out of the door. This time I didn’t stop him because I knew that he need not only time but space as well. I only realise now how much that words I said to him hurt him and I didn’t know what to do to fix it.

Luke

The forest does nothing to ease my mind. Adam’s words plays over and over in my head like a broken tape recorder. If I knew this was the way he felt from the beginning maybe I could have stopped the whole mating. No, I did know that he was uncomfortable about the mating. I was to blame for this. I knew that he didn’t want to mate but I let the Elders give him an ultimatum. I played right in their hands. This whole mess is my fault. I am the one that listened to the Elders and I made Adam think he had no choice. No wonder he have his doubts. I wish I could go back in time to stop myself. Adam was right I am selfish. I didn’t think of him at all. All I thought about was to be with him. I never cared about the pack or being the Alpha. All I ever wanted was Adam. I cannot believe what I did this to Adam. I claim to love him so much but I forced him in this situation. I really don’t know what to do about this situation. Now there is no going back. Once soul mates mate they mate for life. There is no way to break the mating. All I can do now is give Adam time and space.

“Why are you so grumpy Alpha?” I recognised that voice immediately. I turned around to face none other than Elder Alexandria. She still had that creepy smile, which send chills down my spine, on her face. “Did the Alpha pair have a quarrel?” She let out a snort of a laugh. “What do you want?” I said. She looked at me and didn’t say anything for a while. “Oh nothing Alpha. Just wondering why you alone in the woods when you can spend the time you have with your mate because you never know what going to happen after all. I mean after what happened to Scott I thought that you would want to spend all the time you have with your darling Adam.” Her voice was filled so much scorn that it made me think about what Adam told me of what he overheard. Elder Alexandria was dangerous and I needed to get away from her as fast as possible.