Voltron oneshots

BrOgAnEs

Shiro just, constantly teasing Keith about his crush... like, CONSTANTLY
"Keith, you look at Lance like he's a titanium bowie knife or some shit just tell him you wanna kiss his stupid face and get over it"
"Keith, when Lance gets near you so much blood runs to your face if you got so much as a paper cut you'd probably bleed to death, its not good for battle"
"Im not that smitten takashit so fuck off" "You had the words 'Keith Mcclain' written on your notebook for the entirety of your time at the Garrison."
Shiro impersonating how Keith's voice gets lower and more macho™ around Lance
"Your crush on lance reminds me of the time you stanned shark boy from shark boy and lava girl in middle school" "Hey, Shark Boy made me gay watch what you say" "Im gonna read your fanfic at your guys' wedding" "Say what you please as long as you burn all copies of Loves Bites"
Keith thinks it's so strange when everybody sees him as this High Figure Of Command Who You Dont Mess With™ because Keith knows way too much abt him to see him like that.
"God Shiro's so cool I wish i was like him." "Senior year of high school Shiro ate a can of cheez whiz for lunch every. day."
"How can Shiro be such an adult, he's so responsible" "Are you kidding me? He once put a jar of nutella in the microwave cause he wanted to melt it to make chocolate sauce for his ice cream and almost burnt the house down."
"Shiro's so composed" "On his first date with Matt, he closed his eyes to kiss him good bye and kissed his glasses"
Shiro trying everything he can think of to try to help Keith hit on Lance
"How'd you get with Matt?" "You're asking the epitome of the wrong guy, I dont even know" "Didn't you like, write him a letter to ask for his number" "I asked pidge for their address, wrote a letter, stamped it and mailed it with the words 'Lemme get them digits' enclosed cause i thought it'd be cool...."
"Shiro how do I even know he's even BI! The dude barley even so much at looks at dudes..." "He said 'razzle dazzle' while flying keith. razzle fucking dazzle"
Eventually Shiro is just done and starts trying to take matters into his own hands
"Lance, top ten Man crushes go."
"Lance you need to start getting along better with Keith, maybe just go into Black with , him go for a ride together, stop on a nice alien planet, have a picnic, stare into each others eyes, realize you l-" 'TAKASHI"
"Lance, hypothetically speaking, if you had to kiss one person on the team, who would u choose :3?"
Keith is really into pokemon and whenever Shiro tries to participate and be supportive he embarrasses himself
"I wanna open up a real life pokemon gym" "What theme would it be? like bug?" "YEAH SHIRO, UH UH UH YEAH, TAKASHI, IM GONNA OPEN UP A BUG TYPE POKEMON GYM. YOU IDIOT. THAT'S WHAT I WANT, I WANT TO SHIT OUT BADGES TO EVERY HAM AND EGGER WHO COMES TO MY FRONT DOOR. 'go caterpie!' That's me you fucking imbecile. "Do your best kakuna" ".... I'm gonna go"