Telekinesis (Joshler)

Chapter Nineteen

Josh's POV

It's now been about a month since Tyler got raped...we both haven't been to school at all. Tyler is'nt much better though. He still doesn't let anyone touch him but he is trying to allow me to at least kiss him...He talks and actually act's happy instead of scared but I know he is faking it. I think the old Tyler is'nt coming back anytime soon, and im so sad about that!

Tyler's POV

"Tyler, im just gonna help mom take her bags into her car, stay here." Josh says, leaving me in his room.

Im doing a lot better on the outside. Inside im a mess...I still struggle to eat and the guilt is tearing me up. I put on a fake smile and pretend like im over the rape for Josh...Josh is my best friend; my boyfriend...I hate him seeing me weak...Josh and my relationship is going okay; we haven't been kissing a lot because I flinch every time he touches me. We still haven't done the dirty. I think it's a shame that I won't be losing my virginity with the guy I love but I guess I can't ever change that. My therapist knows about what happened to me; I started going to her regularly after Josh found out. She has also helped me.

FLASHBACK

"So Tyler, how are you?" Helen asks.

I sit looking out the window. Gloomy skies drown the sun with pity. I hate myself...I deserved for Jason to hurt me...im a murderer...

"Tyler?" Helen says grabbing my attention.

I look at her with my sad eyes of guilt. She softly smiles at me.

"How are you?" She asked again.

I heard her the first time; I just don't want to talk...

I shrug as she frowns.

"What's going on Tyler? You seem different..." She states.

I shrug. I am different. Being raped has changed me. I don't talk, don't leave my room unless it's for therapy (I have an en suite) and I don't eat much. I haven't eaten in a few days now. I don't deserve food; it's my fault. I don't even talk to Josh. I have lost interest in everything dear to me; my piano, singing, Josh...

"Tyler, you can tell me." She says with concern.

I look at her with tear-filled eyes. She will be the only one who knows other than Josh...do I trust her?

I shake my head as tears flow.

You're such a baby! It's your fault three people are dead, it's your fault Josh isn't here and it's your fault you got raped!" Blurry says in my head.

"I-I know..." I whisper to Blurryface.

"Tyler, who are you talking to?" Helen says.

"Blurry." I say while looking out the window.

It's now raining; droplets of clear water cover the window.

"Waterrr..." I whisper sing.

"Hmm?" Helen says, hearing my singing.

"Water." I say coldly.

"What about the water?" She asks.

"I find it fascinating that water; such a simple, harmless looking thing can do so much damage..." I trail off watching the water hit the window.