Me: *Hugs Josh.*
Jared:. . . I regret letting you name him Joshua.
Me: Why?
Jared: It makes it seem like you're talking about the human.
Me: *Shrugs.* But I love Joshua!
Jared: Wha-
Me: It's a cool name. Admit it. It's an amazing name.
Jared: . . . Give me Rooster.
Me: "Rooster"?? His name is Josh!
Jared: Not anymore. He's Rooster now. *Reaches to take JOSHUA from me.*
Me: No! His name's Josh!
Connor: *Comes between us and steals Josh.* Nope. It's Bacon.
Me: *Gasp.* NO! HIS NAME'S JOSH!
Connor: Nope. I'ma go force feed him bacon.
Me: NO! *Steals Josh back.* Ah, poor baby, did the mean man try to hurt chu??
Jared: Why are you so attached to this pig?
Me: I'VE WANTED A PIG FOR 2 YEARS NOW.
Jared: . . . There's a story behind that, isn't there?
Me: MY DAD'S A SEMI MECHANIC. One time he left something at work so we had to go get it. When we got there, there was a truck full of pigs being fixed there. ALL THE PIGS WERE SO SAD, THEY LOOKED AT ME LIKE, "Please safe us!" One of them was even squelling sadly! I just wanted to kidnap them all! So ever since then, I've wanted a pig.
Connor: *Walks by eating bacon.* ALL THOSE PIGS ARE BACON NOW. I COULD BE EATING ONE RIGHT NOW!
Me: *Slaps the bacon out of his hand.* HOW DARE YOU.
Connor: I HOPE IT'S THE ONE THAT WAS SQUELLING FOR IT'S LIFE!
YOU ARE READING
Ask or Dare the Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman
HumorJared: Ughhhhh I don't wanna do this! Me: Too bad! It'll be funnnnn! Jared: No it won't. I've seen Connor's ask or dare book. It doesn't look or sound fun.
