Trouble..(Evan peters/Editing)

There Is Nothing Left, Just Emptiness(41)

Alyssas POV

15/7

"I said bye to you hoping that for once you'd fight for me like you always do for him."

21/9

"When she lays her head on my shoulder and shuts her eyes. When she peacefully sleeps along my side, curled up in a little defenseless ball. It is when her eyes shut and her hand gently rests on my inner bicep, grasping on to me as if her life depended on it. It's when she rests her head on my lap and I slowly feel her chest breathing in and out, in and out. When she's in a deep sleep and I don't dare to make even move an inch because I don't want to wake her, because I don't want her to detach from me. When her head rests on my chest and I can't help but plant a hundred kisses on her forehead but I know I can't, so I only plant a feather like kiss, lips touching her skin, making mine shiver. "

" This is the moment she puts her full trust in me, this is the moment she lets her walls down because she knows that I'll keep her safe, because she believes in me. This is the moment that I cherish with every vessel in my heart because although she doesn't easily say 'I love you,' it is this moment when she's letting me know that she could one day fall for me. This is the moment when she's believing she could love again. But maybe the person just isn't me.."

Is this how he really feels?

" Hey, Alyss- wha.. What the hell-"

" What the hell is wrong with you?! Why do you do this to yourself!?"

"What the hell do you think you-"

"Why do you build yourself up with my love then go and crash it down!?"

"Because you don't love me!" He explodes, face turning red from the rage aiming at me.

" How do you know!?" I scream, my anger shooting back. I'm just afraid that this fire will make the bombs explode.

"What..?"

" I said.. How do you know?" I breathe.

"You love me? " He whispers in disbelief, walking towards me.

Shit..

"No.. I dont."

"Then what the hell are you talking about?" He asks as I see him stop a foot away, eyebrows scrunched up together in angered confusion.

Fuck..

" I- I mean c- come on, harry. Wh- what the hell did you think I was doing this whole time? Protecting myself? Harry, you have been there when I wanted you to. You have caught me from the edge, it's killing me that I can't do anything to pay you back. You have saved me from myself as much as evan. But don't you realize that I still love him? That him just being around me is my life source? And that not being around him is like being on fucking life support? Of course you don't, because you don't get it, and you never will.."

Ooh how badly I wanted to scream it, but I couldn't.

" Harry I'm t- talki-.. I'm just so selfish." I whisper, falling back down on the messy bed.

"What?"

"Harry, I just want to go home." I speak louder, not wanting to repeat the words that slipped out of my mouth.

"Home? What home? You have no home."

"What..?"

" You heard me. You don't have a home anymore. Don't you realize that? You tore evan apart, you pushed away your mum and hell.. You demolished me." he breathes.