Trouble..(Evan peters/Editing)

Im Not Good Enough. (40)

Alyssa's POV

I wake aching from last nights activities.. I look over my shoulder to see Evan at the edge of the... Well the more broken bed, sleeping.

I let out a deep sigh as I wrap the cover around me. I'm so fucking stupid.. I cant believe I just let him do that!

Angry sex.. Who would have thought?

I pick up my clothes and as I am putting on my bra, I see him shift.

" Evan?" No answer.

I sigh again then put the shirt on, I struggle to get up, but when I do, I slowly and very painfully pull up my panties.

I pick my shorts up off the floor slowly, wincing at the pain. I can't even put these on! So I drape them over my shoulder and I slowly walk out of the trashed bedroom and into the fragmented living room. I stop in the middle of the room and look around, absorbing the pain and the untroubled memories..

The ones I dont want to make with him anymore..

Because I realized that I cant be in love with this man that mutilates every aspect of me. And no I'm not talking about how he manipulated me into loving him, I'm talking about how I didnt see it until now.

I walk towards the couch and follow the seams until I reach the end of the ripped corner. This is what I will be leaving.. I start to feel my stomach go into knots as I feel eyes burning into me. I turn my head to see evan looking at me from the bed, not moving just staring, eyes filled with pain and that everlasting love that he still has for me.

I finally tear my eyes away from him, afraid that if I look any longer I might just be hurting myself more than him. I sigh as I look at this place one last time.

I make my way to the door and lean my forehead against it. I.. I dont want to go..

I feel my anger and sorrow escape my eyes slowly the longer I stay here. I feel hands wrap around me in comfort as he snuggles his head in my neck.

The sounds of his breathing is the only thing calming me now and I dont want to let that go. My tears leave its home faster and faster, my bravery, my false persona crumbling as I start to sob louder.

" Shh." he whispers, thumb caressing my bare skin, trying to sooth my pain. " Please stay." he whispers again, making my heart shatter from his desperate cry.

"I- I cant." I whimper, I want to but I cant.

"Please stay with me. " he cries again, hurting me more. I slowly unwrap his arms around me and I finally turn to face him. " No evan, I can't. " I look at his watery eyes as I place my hand on his cheek.

I marvel in new emotions as I see him lean into my touch. I push him back then leave the dark apartment.

I enter the elevator and as it closes, my mind seems to attack me with memories and out of anger, again, I slam on the emergancy stop button then fall back, having the wall hold me from falling into the blackhole waiting for me.

I start to sob louder than I thought I ever could. Everything is so fucked..

I start to heave as I try to stop crying but its no use, I'm losing everything and there is nothing I can do about it. I grab my phone and I call the only person that seems to be getting me out of every situation. " Alyssa? What do you want?" ouch..

" H- harry.. Pl- Please. I-"

" What happened? Whats wrong? What did he do? " Everything..

"J- Just p-please come and g-get-" I didnt even get to finish as my sobs become unbearable.