Orphan

Chapter 15

Can we take a walk please?” I asked as he furrowed his eyebrows, obviously suspicious of the attempt at communication. “Please?” I frowned, as he reluctantly nodded. “Yeah okay,”

“Thank you…” I mumbled holding onto my arm as we walked slowly through the leaves and twigs. The cool breeze felt good on my skin as I rethought why I was doing this in the first place. Why I was trying the hardest in a relationship I was forced into having.

Maybe I wasn’t trying the hardest, maybe he was trying too. Maybe he just didn’t know how. As we made our way further away from the house, I tried to keep up with Harry’s fast and huge steps. Seriously this was more of a jog for me than a walk right now. I lifted my hand from my arm slowly, doubtful if I should do this or not. I always had to be cautious around him. I sighed gathering up my courage as I lowered my hand and touched our fingers softly, immediately pulling back and pretending as if it were accidental as he looked to me, and I looked away. He looked forward again as I shook my head connecting our hands slowly, tangling my fingers with his lightly.

He tensed up in shock as he kept his eyes forward, tightening his grip on my hand as we strolled slowly. I smiled slightly to myself as I rubbed the top of his hand; brushing it with my thumb carefully. “How come you’re like this?” I questioned quietly as he turned to me with a tint of curiosity staining his eyes, “I don’t know what you’re on about.” He mumbled looking back at the ground as I sighed, “Yes you do…” I muttered under my breath biting my lip softly as I stared at the twigs on the floor and he stopped walking, “What was that?” he asked with a raised eyebrow as I shrugged it off, walking forward as he pulled me back. “I asked, what was that?” he repeated crossing his arms over his chest breaking the bond with my hand as his rhetorical bubble became apparent again. He was blocking himself off to me again. “I just said you do know what I’m talking about, sheesh can you please stop getting so defensive.” I groaned as he sighed shaking his head walking on. “Exactly what I expected.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked turning around as I stood with a smirk, “I’m talking about you. If we were back at the house right now or with one of the boys or Abby; then you would have hit me or scold me a long time ago for talking to you like that, but now you’re merely walking away. Not even acknowledging it.” I replied, “-care to explain Harry?”

“I- You don’t know me. Stop acting like you do.” He mumbled walking away faster as I ran up to him and spun him around. “Maybe I don’t know much about you, but I’m getting to know you and I’m getting to know you better than even your friends. Maybe that’s what you’re afraid of. Maybe you don’t want anyone getting that close to you. That’s why you try your best to push me away.” I spoke solidly, no hesitation present in my tone. “Maybe it’s safer this way, maybe you don’t know what you’re talking about and maybe you’re way too shallow-minded to be able to comprehend who I am.” He blurted out with a frown as I shook my head slowly.

“I am not shallow minded. You may not know me yet, but if anything I look at things with depth and where everyone else saw this tough, evil, killer gangster-man. I saw a kind, shy, lost, wild hearted, broken boy. Who never got to experience a childhood all of us take for granted. Who had to learn to live with less than a penny at times and live on scraps. Who tries to hide the fact that he is completely and utterly shattered inside, with anger and hatred and fear. Who only knows how to care in the way he was treated. Had to get used to the word ‘no’ so much that forcing a yes was his only way. Someone with so much depth, that when others only saw a shoreline, I saw the whole damn ocean.” I answered with a sigh as I walked towards him slowly, his hands shaking slightly as I did so. “Just give me a chance. You wanted me to be yours for a reason. Let me show you that reason.” I smiled softly looking up at him as he stared at me; his face emotionless but his eyes carrying everything I knew he was holding back. “I won’t push you…But we both know who you are. Who you really are.”
I finished walking on as Harry followed quietly, his hands behind his back as he did so. “Let’s go up there.” I smiled as Harry furrowed his eyebrows looking at me, “What?” He asked, his voice weak and blemished. “Up there, think you can make it?” I chuckled looking up at an old broken tree house with the weeds grown around it as the moss filled the majority of its surface. I climbed up the steps of wood nailed to the tree as I sat on the platform of the tree-house.

"You coming?” I asked looking down at him as he shook his head with a small sigh as I swayed my legs off the edge. He climbed up as well sitting down next to me. “Whoever built this did a good job, they chose a great tree. Expect maybe for the banana peels.” I chuckled as Harry merely looked towards the distant hills still in view.
I sat quietly picking up a stone as I inspected it slowly, “This stone has a face.” I smiled, “He’s an angry stone isn’t he.” I grinned as I traced my fingers on it and Harry gave off a small chuckle shaking his head.

“What? What’s so funny?” I asked turning to him as he looked to the stone I had in my hands. “Just memories.” He mumbled staring fondly at the stone as I furrowed my eyebrows, Harry quickly noticed the curiosity in my face as he cleared his throat. “That’s Liam’s stone. He and I built this tree-house when we were younger. We always dreamed of this awesome house and when we walked around the neighbourhoods we’d always see these tree-houses. So we stole some supplies and tried our best at making one. We used to come here every day, before things got this bad. We didn’t have action figures and cool toys so we used these two rocks and we drew faces on ‘em.” He smiled taking the rock inspecting it slowly, “…My rock was a happy one ‘cause I was always smiling, Liam’s one was angry because he always had this sour look on his face.” He grinned as I chuckled, “Guess Liam never changed hm?” I laughed as Harry shook his head, his eyes crinkling as he laughed along. “Guess not.” He mumbled.

“Where’s your rock?” I asked as Harry shrugged. “Somewhere in there.”

I got up walking around, looking for the infamous rock as I walked to the corner picking up a grey stone, similar to the other one. “Found it.” I spoke as I took a seat next to him again and turned over his rock, I furrowed my eyebrows as I stared at the smile that was drawn over harshly into a frown. “What happened here? Why did you draw over your happy rock?” I asked turning to him as he sighed. “Happy wasn’t something I felt anymore. It didn’t symbolize me anymore. So I changed it.” He mumbled incoherently as I frowned slightly putting down the rock, hugging his arm as I laid my head on his shoulder. I didn’t care if he was mad at me for doing that, or uncomfortable. I just wanted him to know I was there. Surprisingly he didn’t move away, but instead laid his head on mine quietly.

“He’s still in there you know?” I mumbled as he lifted his head, “What do you mean?” he asked as I remained as is, staring at the gently blowing leaves. “The happy you. He’s still in there and all we need to do is find him. I promise I’ll try my best to.” I answered as he sighed. “Why do you even want to. I’m fine.” He groaned as I shook my head, “Because. I care about you. Even if the feeling’s not mutual. You’re worth a lot more than you make yourself out to be.”

“What did you say?” he asked as I turned to face him and he raised a brow at me, his jaw clenching slightly. “I said I car-” I mumbled before I felt his lips on mine, his hand slowly making its way to my cheek as his fingers traced my jawline. I kissed him back slowly and carefully, I had felt his lips on mine before but only through sheer force, this time though it was different. It felt different. He wasn’t pushing me into anything, this was in my control and I could stop it if I wanted to; but I didn’t.