Orphan

Chapter 50

I sat quietly, everyone was settling in and luckily for me, Liam was right beside me. Zayn, however was seated on the end with Niall. I kept my eyes forward nudging my elbow gently into Liam's side. He shrugged it off with an irritated expression and readjusted his seating position. Liam was once again focussing on what was happening in front of us, or just simply getting lost in his own world. I furrowed my eyebrows and nudged him a little harder as he turned his head to me in a rush with a frantic, hushed whisper. "Can you, for the love of all that is holy, sit still?" he scolded as his eyes shot daggers into my skin, daggers - which by now - I was immune to. "Look ahead."
"What?" he murmured as I continued to pretend I was focussing elsewhere. "Look ahead, Liam!" I whispered, agitated by his lack of cooperation. His head faced forward and I sat a little closer to his body, "How are we getting out of this?"
"Excuse me?"
"I asked, how a-"
"-No, no, I heard you. I'm just slightly baffled you'd even ask me that since you aren't even going to be the one stuck here at the end of the day." he clarified and repositioned himself once more, these uniforms were seriously uncomfortable to say the least. "I'm not leaving you guys behind. We're all getting out of here. I promise."
"Don't ever say that." Liam's voice had dropped dramatically, and was now deeper than usual. "Say what?" I questioned as he turned his head to face me. "Don't ever say you promise anything. Don't ever give anyone false hope. Especially not my family." He mumbled beneath his breath as I knit my brows together. "Well, Liam. I intend on keeping my promise." I breathed quietly as his eyes softened ever so slightly, but hardened once again after a mere moment of vulnerability. "We will figure something out."

Just then Louis, Niall and Zayn began to bicker once again, their voices somehow simultaneously hushed and loud at the same time, and Harry sat idly by, watching them cautiously as if they would bury him in an avalanche of blame if he were to utter a word. Liam sighed, "At least I will." Liam clarified with a drop of his gaze.

The court proceeded with the case, everything they had said had flown over my head until those 4 words forced their way into my ears and pierced my heart; 'Facing life in prison'.

I stood to my feet about to spew a long list of curses and objections before liams hand gripped my arm and tugged me down. When my gaze met his he merely shook his head slowly, pleadingly. I frowned then nodded as my head as my eyes followed his, which had caught Harry at what I would call his lowest. "Dont drag out the proceedings longer than he needs it to be." Liam sighed softly as we were told to stand up. I knew he was right, the burning pain in my chest had proved it, and soon we were all heading back towards our cells.     

"Harry, hey..." I called after the quickly passing brunette. "Baby I'm talking to You."
He quickly snapped around. "What did you just call Me?"
I swallowed back my words and shook my head slowly from side to side, it had just slipped out I hadn't even realised. "N-nothing sorry. Uh..listen, I just wanted to know...well you didn't, you didn't seem like...well I have no right to say how you felt but also I was only-" his fingers had found their way to my mouth and pinched my lips shut. "You're rambling. Just out with it."
I nodded as he removed his fingers and I cleared my throat. "Are you alright? Are you genuinely alright?" I frowned knitting my brows as I examined his face while he placed his fingers at his forehead as if to massage away the tension; however with his cuffs restricting him movement that seemed uncomfortable.

"I am perfectly fine I can take care of my..." he sighed defeatedly as his stare deepened. "No I'm not. I'm not okay. I let everyone down under my supervision and now we're screwed and I don't know how to fix it. There's no way out this time."
"Harry that's not true. There is a way out we've just gotta find it, look if we-"
"-no Monique. No there's not. We are facing life in prison. Hell," he chuckled, "...we're lucky we didn't get the death sentence and a public hanging."
                                                              
My body tensed. "Harry dont joke like that!" I scolded in just above a whisper as he looked at me darkly. "How cute and naive of you to think I was ever joking."
"Harry listen to me I can help I can get us out. All of us." I frowned as we quickly approached the cells and Harry shook his head. "No Monique. Okay listen. You. You're going to get out of this. You and Abigail you'll be safe and sound. If you must - get the boys out...but leave me here. Let me rot here. I'll pay for my mistakes."
"H-arry..."
"No. Dont do that. Dont cry, don't be upset."
"Harry I can't I need you, I don't want to leave here without you!" I choked out with a broken voice. "You can and you will... Look I've got something for you. Some thing to help you stand on your feet when you leave here. And I want you to leave here. Forget about me and pick up your life and build a new one with the pieces. Please." He mumbled quietly as he placed a note in my hand and got escorted to his cell. I gripped it tightly and suddenly the coldness of it all had become more and more apparent.

The damp, hard brick walls and cold metal of the cells were nothing compared to what I felt inside.

I got locked in my cell and immediately made for my way to the sickly dirty bed, waiting for the guards to move passed I opened the piece of paper and read it quietly;

Monique.

I know I haven't been the best anything since we had met. But I figured why change now? Lol no? No. Okay I'm bad at this and I don't have any more paper so I don't know why I'm fucking up this one with my bad humour. Okay, when you get out...you might not be able to go back home with the stories and stigma running around that town about us. So take your family and take Abigail and I need you to leave here. As long as you live here you'll be reliving this life and you'll be too close to me. I can't help myself around you and I'm scared that you'll give me a reason to get out of here...i don't want that. I don't want to know where you are if ever I get out of here. I'm not going to ruin you anymore. Please take the information at the back of this letter. It's bank details. I've saved some money over the years in case we would ever need it and there's nothing we can do with it now. Everything that had ever meant something to me is the very thing that brought me here. Money. Filthy money. It was never mine to begin with so I'm giving it back. It's yours now because you're the one who loved me when I couldn't love myself. Not that I can now.. anyway, the point of this is I wanted to tell you nothing you did was for nothing I guess. You were the best thing that ever happened to me at the worst moments of my life. So take the money and go. Please. Never seeing you again that'll be my punishment. This prison is what I deserve. And my brothers I've let them down and I swear to you. I will get Louis back for everything he's ever done to you. I've never been a good boyfriend so I guess me saying I love you on paper is just as good as me saying it in person. I love you, Monique.
Please please just don't say you love me too.

-Harry.