Orphan

Chapter 32

I held onto my quaking arms as I stood there powerlessly. I had woken up hours ago and I couldn’t seem to get back to sleep. I found myself stuck on one lingering question. Who is Jane? Why was I so occupied with this girl…woman? Was I envious? Or maybe it was just the way the mention of her name softened something in him, for the first time I had seen something in him I had never, love. Wounded love.

The bed stirred beside me as the sunlight broke through the clouds outside of the window I had been stood behind for the past few hours. It had encapsulated my thoughts. I scanned the bed out of the corner of my eye, still not turning my head from the view outside. Harry’s form below the white sheets was a sight to see. The picturesque view of purity and the contaminated. The cleansed white sheets covering his body as if it were a protection sheltering the soiled person below it, he was breathing softly. Chest rising and falling at a baby’s pace… Unhurried.

Gentle.

With his eyes closed and body tranquil he had an innocence to him, sometimes I had wished he would never wake up from it. He shifted again. I froze, his eyes scanned the room as his hands searched for something which wasn’t there.

For a second I thought it was me again, as he usually searched for me if I wasn’t in bed…but then he said her name. I frowned gripping my arms tighter as if trying to comfort myself. What was happening with me? “What are you doing up? Get in bed.” He groaned tiredly as he opened the blankets beside him. I shook my head quietly, “I can’t lay anymore… I’ll be inside. I was just making sure you’re okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” his voice was hoarse, I wish it could have been that way because he had just woken up, but it was deeper than usual. “You were screaming all night. Not very loudly, but enough to scare me. You were saying her name.” I mumbled as I sighed and walked inside leaving him there. Niall and Zayn came into view as I descended the staircase. “Good morning.” As the words left my mouth I realized just how long I had gone without speaking while I was in the room. Those few words said to Harry may as well have been an essay. My skin was cold, if only my heart could have equaled. “Hey…” Zayn breathed awkwardly, I knew why. “You don’t have to look at me like that I know you heard it.” I sighed in reference to Harry’s screaming last night. They were still for a short while. “What happened?” I questioned as Niall stared at me quietly, “But you were the one in the room with him?”

“No, not with Harry last night. I mean what happened with the girl. Jane.” They ignored the question. “Guys please just tell m-”
“-Monique I think its best if you just forget it. That is not a topic any of us speak about. Especially not around Harry.” Zayn responded, eyes begging for me to just let this go. “Then why did Liam bring it up?”
“Because Liam knows what he’s doing. You don’t.”

“But Zay-”

“-Monique. Let. It. Go.” Niall warned as he walked past me and I sighed, this was very unlike me. Usually I wouldn’t give a damn as long as I could use it to keep drama out of this place, but something about this girl made me uneasy… I couldn’t be getting jealous of her could I? Maybe it’s because she’s reached a part of him I could only hope to reach… What am I even saying, I don’t like him that way. Do I? The whole thing was just this one giant 1000-piece puzzle of which I only had 12 pieces. I couldn’t put the picture together. His journal hadn’t said anything about a Jane. So who was she?

“Abigail!” I whisper-yelled as Abby walked into the living room and attempted a U-turn, but I stopped her. She sighed, “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry to disturb, but do you have any idea who this ‘Jane’ is?” I asked quietly so that no one would hear, these walls had ears at all times. “No. And I don’t want to know.” She sighed, she paid no interest in his life or anything to do with Harry. I could see it on her face. “Listen, I need to go before I get scolded at once ag-” she cut herself off from her own speaking as Harry walked down with his bedside gun in his hand, speaking to the boys. “So it’s 11 guards back and front?” Louis asked skeptically as Liam nodded. “Well it depends on where we’ll get in now,” Niall spoke up in a deep thought as Abigail’s glare seemed to be ignored by the group. “Niall.” She growled. He ignored her.