Orphan

Chapter 13

I groaned and shifted slightly at the discomfort in my neck, maybe sleeping against the headboard wasn’t the smartest of decisions. I couldn’t exactly move myself without waking Harry; who was still sound asleep on my lap and quite frankly I didn’t want to. I felt worse enough that I told him all those things… I mean sure they were partly true. Mostly true… completely true. He had to hear it, if I didn’t say anything I might have still been in that shower crying again. He moved his head slowly as I rubbed his hair back, he hadn’t been sleeping well at all last night, in a cold sweat with a fever. Must have had nightmares or something but I was up most of the time trying to calm him. He grunted as his eyes opened slightly and his grip on the shirt loosened, his body immediately going stiff as he lifted his head. “Hey…” I muttered awkwardly as he turned his head towards me, quickly realizing what had happened and covering his arm up tossing the sweater to the side. “I’ll wash it for you, I needed something to stop the bleeding I-I fell and cut my arm whe-“
“-You fell and cut your arm five times?” I mumbled sympathetically as he frowned knitting his eyebrows together looking at the drip of blood on the sheets as he turned his head from me. “Nothing.”

“Why are you here. I let you have your way you should have just left when you had the chance.” He spoke quietly getting up as he walked towards the bathroom. “I chose to stay after I saw y-“ I chose to draw back my words as I realized he had frozen in his place awaiting my finished sentence, his a dominant he probably doesn’t want to seem weak, especially to me. “-After I saw you sleeping, I figured you would be mad. I didn’t want to risk upsetting you.” I finished hoping he didn’t see through the lie. He nodded with a shrug, completely ignoring his arm now as he started up the shower. I sighed watching him quietly, how did I deal with this. He must feel horrible and I know I shouldn’t but I feel terrible about it. I caused this he's probably going through enough already.

I stared quietly as he ties a bandage around his arm with some plastic wrap on it before he took off his clothing. I hesitated but stood up anyway, “Harry wait…” I mumbled quietly as he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me timidly. “Don’t cover it up like that, you need to clean it. I mean you fell right so, since you don’t know where the blades been it should be disinfected…” I smiled slightly, trying to humor his lie of falling as he nodded slowly, he knew I knew but I wasn’t going to make him feel any less of a man. He couldn’t afford his self-esteem to go down the drain too. “I don’t want it cleaned. It’s fine the way it is.” He muttered incoherently as I raised an eyebrow at him. I sighed gathering up my courage as I closed the door taking his arm lightly as he winced at the touch. “No one’s going to see me helping you, doors closed and I promise I’ll leave after I’m done. Okay?” I questioned quietly, not awaiting a response as I unwrapped his arm and took off the bandages from it. The poor work of bandaging caused the material to stick to his wound as I took it off carefully, he was trying not to wince but I could see it hurt him.

He pulled away every time I had tried to wipe it off and I was getting nowhere with this. I sighed, an idea coming to thought as I looked to him, the only way I could get this done was if I got him in a wet environment. He was vulnerable right now and he didn’t want me knowing that. “Get up.” I stated calmly as he did so, “Take off your underwear. Or keep it on if you’re more comfortable like that.” I mumbled taking off my shirt and pants as he widened his eyes at me, “Who do you think you are, why am I-“

“-Harry, I’m supposed to be your girlfriend right? So then let me try and be that. I’m not going to step out of line I promise. You’re the only one that sees me like this and I won’t upset you. I’m just going to clean your wound.” I tried convincing him with a frown as he nodded getting up and getting into the shower, underwear and all. Why was he so uncomfortable with this when I’ve seem him naked. I guess I have to open up to him first before he’s going to get comfortable with me. It’s like his entire mocho attitude had just dropped, he wasn’t his cocky self I met in my room when we made the sculpture, he also wasn’t his demanding self when he raped me, he wasn’t the gang leader right now or the rude, scary fighter everyone was afraid of. He was this scared-like puppy who was as innocent as a feather, he didn’t want to be touched, even though I’ve felt him before and he didn’t want me seeing him naked. I don’t know if him being covered up was some type of mirror into his soul, he wouldn’t open himself up in any way. Not his body not his mind, not his heart. I sighed as he stepped into the shower and he stepped back leaning against the corner of the tiled walls and I shook my head from my thoughts taking hold of his throbbing arm.