Don't Lose Faith (Ashley Purdy Fanfic)

Chapter 16

Edited

     I turned to Oli then, "Umm... hi?" I said smiling innocently. "Is everything all right?" He asked in a thick english accent. "No, but it will be." He looked at me and I think he got the hint that I wasn't willing to talk about it.

     "Well if you need anything, just come straight to my bus. In fact, here, lets exchange numbers," Oli said handing me his phone. I nodded and typed in my number before texting myself 'ignore this text, Oli and I are exchanging #'s' so Ash wouldn't worry.

     "Call or text me anytime you need to. Im a bit of a night owl so don't worry about the hour too much." He said to me smiling kindly as I handed him his phone back.

     I nodded. "Thank's Oli, I'd tell you but I already feel a bit freaked telling as many as I have. I'll tell you later on, just not now." He nodded waving it off. "No worries, I know how it is to not deal well with letting others in. I don't either." He said to me chuckling, his eyes crinkling slightly.

      "So, what's up Oliver? Any importance for the visit or just stopping by?" I asked keeping a kind smile on my face. "Yeah, there is a reason actually. Your outfit for tonight. Ashley has it with him and he said he'd help you with everything else. As far as cues, everything's the same as before. It will be at least until next tour if you can join us on that too. Id love it if you could." Oli told me, smiling convincingly.

     "Cool, how long and what is the next tour?" I asked him excited about this. But I have responsibilities that I have to remember, my band has only so much time off. "It's Warped Tour. You'd be staying with the guy's still because of your animals and it's the whole summer. You'll have fun, I promise."

     I nodded smiling, I wasn't going to guarantee Oli my being able to attend, but I wasn't going to plain out say no. I could hear Ashley's faint murmurs as we spoke as if they were encouraging me to stay. "Well I'll get back to you on the Warped thing, but it will most likely be a yes. I just have to talk to my band first and arrange some things." He nodded and began getting up.

    "Well Scar, I hope you can but right now I have to go. The guys and I are going to hang out for a bit before the show tonight." I nodded getting up and hugging him goodbye.

     "See you at the show tonight, have fun with the band." I called as he left. He smirked at me. "Have fun with Ash,  love." He said with a wink as he disappeared out of sight. Cheeky british bastard.

      Once I was alone my mind began to wander to Jace and Aaron. Now Ash knew too, along with Pierce The Veil and Andy. I'll tell Andy and Vic about it because Andy reminds me of Jace and Vic just has this calming air about him.

       I couldn't imagine what could be taking Jace and Ash so long on the phone, but I didn't want to pry either, so I sat in my room waiting patiently and twidling my thumbs.

     Who am kidding, in times like these patience has never been one of my main points. I sighed loudly slamming my head back against my pillow and sighing loudly. I closed my eyes groaning.

     Not long after I felt a dip in the bed and arms wrap around me. My eyes shot open and I looked over. It was Ash. I pushed his arms off and looked him in the eye. He seemed confused by my actions but I honestly couldn't care less.

     "Please tell me what Jace said to you." I pleaded with him. His expression softened and his brown eyes hardened. "He told me everything. Everything Aaron did and has done. All the things you left out. Why didn't you tell me about the rest of the part about your dad? Jesus, Scar." He said placing a hand on my face. I pushed his hand away but he wasn't having it. He gripped my hand.

     "He also told me how you push everyone away once you tell them or when something happens. He said to never let that happen, that he's trusting me with your safety." I didn't look at him as I spoke.

      "Why do you care Ash? I just met you two days ago. I don't need a babysitter and I swear to god if you say you love me I'll be pissed. Love doesn't happen that fast. Ever. I didn't tell you about the other part of my Dad because I could only handle so much at a time and bringing everything up with what happened, I didn't know if I could hold myself together. It's my business Ashley, you should respect that." I told him sharply.

     He only pulled me closer to him. I pushed him away but he wasn't having it. He wrapped his arm lightly around my waist as he spoke.  "I don't love you, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I do and as far as your business being yours, it is. But you shouldn't be afraid to show emotion. It's ok to break and shed more than a few tears. It doesn't make you weak and I promise it'll be ok." Ash told me gently and seriously. I only glared.

    "If I'm ever weak, I don't think I could pick myself up again. Crying and whining about a situation doesn't help or resolve it, so what's the use?" I said attempting to get up. Ash simply tightened his grip on me.

     "That's why you have people who care about you, you might not be able to pick yourself back up on your own, but those who care can help you. Crying and whining doesn't help either, you're right." He said and I just stared confused at him. Why would he change his opinion? He smiled at me, but I didn't return it.

    "But talking about it does, getting it out makes you feel better and if you cry, you needed to. People cry for a reason darlin, otherwise it wouldn't be an option" I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to say. Ash pulled me close and held me tightly.

     I let out a sob as reality hit me. My gut-wrenching reality with all its shit felt like a ton of bricks. With each sob, Ash just held me whispering sweet-nothings in my ear while running his fingers through my hair.

     All those times I couldn't walk alone in the halls. Being assaulted, touched and talked about like an object for sex. When Aaron held me against the lockers, getting mad that I wouldn't touch or hug him. All those times he followed me and wouldn't let me alone. Every time he purposefully touched and hugged, gripped and fucked with me in front of Jace to piss him off.

      I sobbed and sobbed and Ash just held me. It felt good to get it all out. I just cried and vented to Ashley for an immeasurable period of time and he just listened attentively, comforting me. I began calming down after some time and a thought hit me.

     I'd been thinking about doing this for some time, why not now? I looked up at Ash, as he wasn't going to let me go. My tears had dried awhile ago but Ash didn't think they really had. He wiped a left over tear from my cheek as I began to speak.

    "Can we go somewhere? I've been meaning to do something for awhile now but I think I'm finally ready." I asked him he nodded at me. "Sure and after we can get some lunch. What is it you want to do?" I smirked up at him.

     "Get some tattoos." He grinned at me. "That sounds like a great idea." He told me as we got up. Soon we were on the open road and god did it feel good.

    This time I only kept my arms tightly wrapped around Ash's body, resting my head on his back and listening to his bike's motor purr. It was a relaxing ride and it cleared my head. I felt pretty good by the time we made it to the shop.

    "So,what are planning on getting a tattoo of?" He asked me as I hopped off the bike. "Your name." I told him looking him in the eye.  Ashley stared at me awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. "Oh... um, good tattoo." 

    I laughed, holding my stomach and looking at him. "Im just kidding Ash, but you should have seen the look on your face. Oh, that was good." I told him as he shook his head.

     "Jesus Scar, you scared the crap out of me. Don't do that, you don't realize how many nut-jobs you can run into in this business. I thought you were one of them for a second." I kept laughing, leaning  against the bike for support.

     "Sorry, I had to. Im good now, I just had to cowboy." I told him as I walked into that tattoo shop. "Im sure you did, now what are you really getting?" I smirked at him as we walked up to the counter.

     "Its a surprise." I told him flaring my hands out dramatically and winking. The shop looked amazing. The walls were painted a blood red with black trim, art work covered them expertly. The counter was black and sleek. a black leather and steel supported love seat sat in the corner. A book with tattoo's sat on the desk and the air smelled of ink and metal. I loved it.