Don't Lose Faith (Ashley Purdy Fanfic)

Chapter 46

I opened my eyes to the warm sun drifting through the window. Bubba at my feet, Jace behind me, his arms around me, Sally curled into my stomach. It's been a week since I've been back and it feels nice to relax, weirdly enough. And I dont miss Ashley as painfully as I thought I would... it's weird almost, Ive simply been happy to be with Jace. I blinked and turned to look at Sally who instantly began purring at my movement. "Scar, you awake?" I heard Jace's groggy voice say from behind me.

"Yeah, just woke up" I yawned. "Did-"

"Awe, that was adorable." Jace interrupted me, I turned and glared at him. "Shut it, anyways did we fall asleep watching movies?" He nodded.

"Yeah, we layed down, you cuddled into me like this and fell asleep during How To Train Your Dragon 2. You were talking in your sleep, too." He said. I blushed.

"Shit... what'd I say?" I mumbled. "Oh nothing..." He teased. I smacked him, a resounding and satisfying noise came from it, too. "Ow, shit I'll tell you." He said, I nodded and looked at him as if to say 'come on...'

Jace sighed "Don't think of yourself differently after this, ok?" I raised brow at him. "Okay..?" He shook his head. "Well... you said Ash's name and that you loved him...." I waited, I knew there was more... "But you also said my name... you also said you loved me...." I blushed.

"It was just a dream Jace," I kinda backtracked with that. I don't know why in the world I would say such a thing... but apparently I did.

"Well Scarlet... I actually want to talk to you about that.." Jace blushed and looked away from me. "Umm... alright, just help me up, I'm too broken to do it myself... fucking bitch..." I muttered the last part, but Jace heard and laughed none the less. He helped me up and leaned me against him. The fact that no pain came from this was a miracle.

"Alright Jace, what is it?" I asked him, looking into his familiar bright blue eyes. "Well Scarlett... I hated not seeing you, I fucking missed you. And not in the way I miss our friends from home, in a way I would miss a piece of myself, in a way where I feel I need you... when you said that last night... the butterflies, the warmth, everything that I felt, I can't even explain how amazing it was. I just... Scar I'm in love with you. I don't care how you feel I just need you to know how I feel.. I just..."

In that moment everything him and I had ever had or shared, all we went through, everything raced through my head. All the feelings I'd ever felt with him, how happy I was, how many times he'd helped and saved me... oh god why the fuck is this me? "Scarlett?" I looked up at him. His eyes held so man emotions in one glance. I couldn't imagine. I went to answer him when his lips were on mine.

I fought him at first, I mean shit, my best friend was kissing me, I have a boyfriend who has been faithful and here I am. But he wouldn't let me go... And soon I relaxed into the kiss... And I just closed my eyes and felt it. The rush of emotion, the feeling of complete and utter bliss, the want and hunger for more, the butterflies... everything. This kiss... was amazing and soon... I was kissing him back. He smiled at this and hugged me close to him as our lips moved in synchronization. He nibbled on my lip aad fire lit throughout my body. I moaned at this and he moaned at the sound of it. I raised my arms and pulled him closer, I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him to me... And God was it amazing.

But I'm not single. I'm cheating... And with that realiztion I pulled away from him and leaned my head on his shoulder. "Jace.... I think I might love you too... I may have this entire time.... but I know I love Ashley.... I just... I need time... I need to talk to someone." He nodded.

He leaned forward and grabbed something off the table, then turned to me and handed it over. " Your phone." I nodded and grabbed it from it. He rose from the couch, kissed my forehead, and left the room. I glanced down at the phone. There was only one person I could think to call that could truly help me in having a unbiased opinion. I unlocked the phone, found the contact I needed and pressed call. Three rings later a click occurred and a voice tumbled down the line.

"Hey hun, how's everything going?"

" Andy? Go somewhere private, I really need some advice..."

"Yeah, hang on" I heard a rumble in the background, and Andy call that it was Juliet, and he'd be back, then the click of a door being shut. " What's going on, Scarlett?"

"I love Jace....he kissed me, after I said his and Ash's name in my sleep and that I loved them.. he told me he loved me, that he was in love with me and it didn't matter if I loved him or not, he just needed me to know.... I didn't want to, I tried to push him off, I really did, I feel like shit about, but there was something in the kkiss I got carried away, it took me a minute, but I gained control of myself. " There was silence... my heart began to race, my palms got sweaty..

"If you think right now, about someone who you can always be with, who you will marry, who you know will take care of your heart, possibly father your children... who do you see?" Andy spoke slowly and calmly, no judgment in his words, just a mature tone.

" I... Andy... I see Jace.. but I really am in love with Ash... I can't imagine life without him."

"Love and infatuation are two completely different ball games. I think you should talk to Ash about this... if you don't I will. I love you Scar, but Ash is my best friend, I can't keep a secret like this forever." He was stern about it, but it was a tough love type of thing. I nodded, even though he couldn't see it. I was getting emotional and panicky at this point, I didn't know what to do and I just wanted to ride my motorcycle to clear my mind, but that obviously wasn't an option.

"I know," my voice shook and cracked without my permission. " I wouldn't expect anything else. I'm so sorry Andy.... "

" Hey now, you have nothing to be sorry about, you can't control fate, or your feelings. You'll know." Andy said reassuringly to me, his voice softening. Again, I nodded.

" Okay... I think I'm going to go take to Jace about this all," I told him.

"Sounds like a plan." He replied. "You'll know, hun. Don't force it, talk to you later."

"Thanks, Andy. Talk to you later." And with that, I hung up the line and called for Jace.