I was about to go to my room, but suddenly I felt his hand on my wrist and I felt like shiver went through all my body.
-Would you like to watch a movie? - he asked still holding my hand.
- I think I'll go to my room - without looking at him I whispered and tried to free my wrist out of his embrace.
- I'll check on you from time to time. Don't do anything stupid - he said with concern and gently freed my hand. Immediately, I rushed up to the stairs like a runner on the sound of a whistle. On my way up I only heard Marcela shouting from the kitchen that dinner will be soon. I went to my room, closed the door and threw myself on the bed. I was holding this for the half a day. Lying on my back I felt tears running down my cheeks. I didn't want to cry, I've had enough of tears, but why it must hurt so bad? I was lying down breathing hard and letting them flow freely. It was the only way to relieve myself, to get rid of everything what's negative. Clarice's words didn't want to leave my head. No, no... I can't do it... I don't even want to hear his voice. All I want to do is forget, erase, delete. I've had enough to start all over again. Only that I ran away again... as always... and it looks like I don't have a choice. I have to start over again even though I have neither the strength nor the desire. This time it will be much harder than before. I only wish it stopped hurt so much...Maybe then it would be a little easier. I mean there is no point in trying if you look more like a wreck than human.
I was in bed until evening. From time to time Marcela was coming to me everytime asking the same question "Everything's alright?". In the evening I went to take a bath and when I left the bathroom I went to the balcony and sat in a chair looking at the view. It was dark and only the streets were lit by lanterns and cars. It was nice to sit here when the wind was gently touching my skin. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind.
- What are you doing? - I jumped on the chair at the sound of his voice. I didn't expect anyone here. I opened my eyes and saw that he was sitting in a chair next to me.
- How long are you sitting here? - I ignored his question and asked my own.
- I just came - I was relieved when I heard those words. - It turned out that I had something to do and I had to leave quickly. Did Marcela check on you?
- Yes, and you don't have to explain anything to me. It's not my business what you do - I was trying to avoid eye contact.
-Did you want to jump? - He asked looking at me closely.
-Nah... From that height I would at least break some bones - it probably wasn't the answer he had expected because he looked a little confused. He stood up and started to walk in circle thinking over something. After a moment he stopped, crouched in front of me and looked into my eyes. I looked down and started to play with my fingers.
- Will you promise me something?
- What's that? - I said with my head down.
-Promise me that you won't hurt yourself - he said seriously.
-Ok - I murmured under my breath.
-Look at me - I raised my head as slow as I could. I looked into his eyes, which were looking so sad. It's because of me? - I'm serious. Promise me that you won't do anything to yourself.
-Why do you care so much? I didn't want to come here and you didn't want it as well. We're strangers to each other.
-You know, sometimes strangers seem to be the closest to us. It's true, we don't know each other for a long time, but in that short time I have noticed that you're a cool girl and you certainly don't deserve all this pain. You're worth more than you think and I don't want you to do something stupid because I wouldn't forgive this myself. So please promise that you won't hurt yourself - what he said shocked me so much that I almost forgot how to breath.
