Slow Ride (Hell's Tribe MC Series) [Book 1]

Chapter 37: Too Late

Songs for this chapter: Breakeven by The Script and You Found Me by The Fray and Noah Cyrus - Make Me (Cry)

~Ronnie~

"Is it mine?" He asked.

His words stung more than I thought possible. Although we weren't official, he knew that I hadn't been with anyone else, and his assumption felt like a slap in the face.

I had been absolutely fucking terrified to tell him, that's why I had been avoiding him, but I didn't think the conversation would end the way it had. I never expected Knox to take my news well— hell, I didn't even take it well after I saw the test come back positive, but I never thought it would make him assume the worst of me.

"Wait, did you plan this?" he accused. 

Those words hurt the most.

It was bad enough he felt the need to question if the baby inside of me was his, but it was even worse to assume I had done it to trap him in a relationship with me that he might not want.

I felt a part of me break when the words left his mouth, but he didn't look the slightest bit remorseful. I thought he'd apologize when he'd seen the look on my face, but instead, he only accused me further. My body grew weak when he actually walked out my door. I was sure that he'd force me to the clubhouse, despite the bombshell I'd just dropped, but he left at my request—showing me just how much he actually cared. I collapsed to the ground just below my bed and couldn't help the heavy stream of tears that followed, or the hideous sounding cries and whimpers that escaped my lips.

What the fuck was I gonna do?

I got pregnant by a man who was too scared to even admit that we were seeing each other. A coward, who walked out on me after I told him I was carrying a child that he helped create.

I certainly didn't plan or try to get pregnant—hell, I could barely afford to take care of myself, let alone a baby, but Knox's reaction quite literally broke my heart. I wasn't expecting him to be ecstatic or anything, but a little reassurance that everything was gonna be okay would have helped relive the pressure of the thousand pound weight that felt like it was crushing my chest.

Instead, I was left alone with my thoughts.

I must have sat on my floor crying for an hour before I could finally bring myself to my feet. I couldn't help but imagine how hard this was going to be doing it all alone, but I knew I would find a way. Even if I had to lie about who the father was, I knew this baby would be loved from my extended MC family. 

From the moment I'd seen those two little lines I'd been scared shitless, but I never once considered getting rid of it. The way Knox so casually suggested the idea made me feel nearly sick. I had only known about this baby for a few days, but I already knew I loved it, and I would take care of it whether I had Knox's support or not. I knew it was possible to be a kick ass single mom, because my mom basically was one. Ed wasn't worth shit but I never questioned the love my mother had for me. She did everything so I could have all I ever needed and I never once felt like I needed more. If Knox wouldn't be there for me and this kid, I would do everything in my power to be half the mother that I had. And if I could do that, I knew this baby and me would be alright. 

And even though I wanted to believe that I could accomplish all that like my mom had , when I heard a knock on my door, my heart skipped a beat at the hope that Knox had changed his mind.

I nearly ran for the door, figuring Knox had come back to make things right. I knew this news was a lot to handle, and while I had days to process it, I had been freezing him out and had sprung it on him out of nowhere. His reaction was harsh, but understandable given the circumstances, and although I liked to think I would be fine without him, I couldn't help the relieved smile that appeared on my face as I pulled the door open.