After sitting in silence wrapped in TJ's arms for what felt like forever, I finally opened my eyes. TJ was sitting with his legs stretched out around me, leaning against the kitchen cabinets. His arms were wrapped tightly around my shoulders with my face against his chest. I could see that the sun was starting to go down outside. We must have been there for hours while my mind went crazy and I cried every ounce of hydration my body had in it. I felt awful for how I acted. I tried desperately to find an ounce of something I had to have missed that would have been a hint to what was really going on with Brody before he died. There was nothing. I saw nothing. Either I was the worst wife in history, or Brody was a damn good liar. Brody was not a good liar, so it must have been me that was all wrong.
TJ could sense that I was starting to stir. "I really am sorry Cami... I never meant to cause more hurt." I could feel his arms tense around me.
I lifted my head again and looked at him. "No TJ. This is not your fault." I shook my head slowly. "I didn't see a thing. How could I miss it all? This is all my fault." I could feel my eyes start to burn again.
"Cami, come on." He tensed his face almost like he was angry. "Brody made it his mission for you to never find out. He never gave you an opportunity to even think something might be wrong. You can't take that blame. Be mad. Be angry. But God, please don't blame yourself!" His face softened and I could see the pain in his eyes.
All I could do was stare into his eyes, and I lifted my hand to cup his cheek. He was right. And for the first time since Brody left me, I felt safe. Safe, right there in TJ's arms. I kept my hand on his face and I nuzzled my face back into his chest.
After a few more minutes, he tried to readjust his body. I heard a slight chuckle and I looked up to see a crooked grin on his face. "What?" I half glared, half smiled at him unsure of what he was thinking about.
"My ass is dead asleep and I can't feel my right leg." We both burst out laughing and attempted to get up off the floor. Once we were up, I walked over to the window to look at the ocean. Tomorrow was the anniversary of the day Brody and I first met 10 years prior. This would be the first year I'd be spending that day without Brody. There would be no yearly photo of us in the cove. There would be just me. Alone.
Just as I thought the tears were going to start falling again, I felt TJ walk up behind me. I turned quickly and took a deep breath.
"You hungry? I don't think you ate anything today." He was clearly concerned. I couldn't tell if he knew what tomorrow was for me, but I knew that I needed him to be there with me.
I nodded to him and didn't say a word.
"I'll order a pizza." He smiled and walked back to the kitchen. I listened to him order as my gaze went back towards the ocean, and realized that he and Brody had the same taste in pizza. Pepperoni, extra cheese, olives and green peppers. It's the same pizza I'd ordered a million times. It strangely made me feel content. And all of a sudden I felt like I might actually get through all this crap somehow with TJ by my side.
***
The pizza showed up about 20 minutes later and by then we were both sitting on the couch sharing our memories of Brody, and talking about our lives before that day. While we stuffed our faces, I learned that TJ lived next door to Brody since they were toddlers, and when he was 14, his parents died in a freak plane crash off the coast. He moved in with his grandmother who took care of him until she passed halfway through his senior year. He was 18 already, so he just stuck it out and finished high school living on his own. That explained why he took off right after high school to join the Army. That and his dad was a retired Army Ranger, and he wanted to follow in his footsteps. And he did! TJ told me about how he worked so hard to get to Ranger school and once he did he was gone constantly. With wars going on in the middle east, there were always missions to tend to, and since he didn't really have a real place to go home to, he just kept volunteering for new missions to keep him busy. Once Brody had told him that his tumor was getting worse, he decided that he was going to retire himself once his current term was up.
YOU ARE READING
The Crashing Waves | COMPLETED
Romance"When we think of 'meant to be' we automatically assume forever. But maybe it isn't supposed to last forever. Maybe it's just someone who is in your life to teach you something. Maybe the forever is not the person, but what we gain from them." Ha...
