The Crashing Waves | COMPLETED

Chapter 20: One Year's Passed

I spent months buried in work. I had a sweet set up on the back patio where I could sit and watch the waves, breathe in the salty ocean air, and work nearly constantly. I learned to take breaks and walk to the boardwalk. I'd even started meeting some friends for coffee every now and then. I made it through the fall, winter, and then spring was again upon me. I was proud that I was finally starting to live again. It felt really good.

As it approached the one year mark for Brody's death, I decided I needed to do something special. I was pissed at him, that was for sure, but there were so many people who surrounded me and Brody's family when he died, and I was not in a state of mind to be able to thank them properly at the time. With it being close to the one year mark, I felt like it made sense to hold a memorial party for him, and it would give me a chance to thank everyone for everything they've done. Of course, I dragged Brooke into helping me get it all ready since she was a pro at planning things.

Since she had vacation time again, she came down for the week to help me out. We had already done the invitations weeks before, made a ton of calls, and got the big stuff planned out, so all that was really left was getting the house ready for the large number of people I was planning on attending.

The night before the party, we were getting all the utensils and stuff out, Brooke broke the silence. "Do you think TJ will come?" She looked up at me with a blank face.

I looked at her and my stomach started to turn. I snapped back, "Don't know. Don't care. Probably not a good idea for him to show up and he knows it."

"Cami," she paused before she continued and set down the spoons he was holding. "It's been months. Have you seriously not talked to or seen him at all?"

I hadn't talked to him at all. I saw him once at the grocery store and immediately ran off out of his sight before he saw me. I legitimately couldn't bare talking to him. "Nope!" I went right back to work, opening a package of plates.

Brooke was clearly annoyed and wasn't going to drop it. She looked at me with her hands on her hips, "What if he shows up? What are you gonna do?"

I had thought about it a hundred times. I knew I wanted to tell him to get out, but another part of me thought I would talk to him and then kick him out. Making up with him was definitely not an option. "I don't know honestly. I'm just going to hope he doesn't come."

"He was Brody's best friend. This is his memorial party. You are crazy if you think he won't at least stop by." She sighed really loud, "MaryBeth and Dale are going to be here too, what are you going to tell them?"

I got frustrated and slammed my hands on the counter, "I don't know Brooke. Ok? I don't know what I am going to do, but I DO know that I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk about him, and I certainly do NOT want to talk about any of this anymore!" I turned without thought and went to my room to take a break from the interrogation.

Not surprisingly, Brooke followed me. She stood leaned up against the door frame and looked at me with sad eyes. "I just want to see you happy again, Cam. Like you were when you were with Brody, and how you were when TJ was here. I miss the happy you."

I looked up at her for a second and then tore my gaze to the window, "It was all fake. I want to be happy for real, not because the other person was paid to make me feel happy." I took a deep breath in and began to cry. Brooke sat down next to me and hugged me and we didn't say another word about him.

***

The next night, the place looked like a shrine to Brody. There were photos in frames on every table and flat surface, and a couple large collages in the living room. The TV was shuffling thousands of pictures of him from birth to the day he passed on it. There was food all around, wine, and coolers of beer for the guests, and there was light music filling the air.