The Crashing Waves | COMPLETED

Chapter 21: The Realization

Everyone had left and Brooke and I started to clean up the house.  I kept stopping to stare out at TJ who hadn't moved from the beach since I left him out there.  A part of me wanted to rush back out there and pour my heart out to him, but the other half of me just wasn't ready to bring down the wall.  So I kept tabs on him and tried to clean up the best I could.

I could feel Brooke watching me every time I would stop to look out at him.  We were totally silent with just some low music playing. "You can go out there.  I can manage the clean up for you."

My head snapped up to her.  "No, no, I'm fine." 

She gave me a sideways glance with a smirk, "Right..."

"I am going to go throw some sweats on before I finish up cleaning." I turned and went straight to my room to change.  

When I came back out I looked straight out to the beach.  He was gone.  I looked at Brooke and pointed to the back door.  "Did you see him leave?"

She looked up at me and then out the door with a puzzled look on her face. "He was just there. That is so wierd."

Just as she spoke, I heard a car start and pull away.  I ran to the front door and looked out just as TJ was pulling away in his jeep.  I didn't understand why he would just leave. I grabbed my phone and tried calling him, but he didn't answer, so I sent a quick text.

Hey. Why did you leave?

I went back to cleaning up with Brooke while I waited for his response.  But it never came.

***

I woke up the next morning still with no response from TJ.  I couldn't figure out what I had done to have him shut down like that.  It had been months with no contact, and I had to be honest that having him back in my life made me feel happy.  But just as fast as he came, he left without a word.  I tried calling again with no answer, so I sent another text trying to get some type of acknowledgement.

Hey TJ.  I don't know what happened, but please call me.  Please. If nothing else, then to just let me know you are ok.

Still nothing.  Brooke and I went for breakfast at the Boardwalk Cafe and spent most of the day at the beach.  Her flight didn't leave until 7pm, so we had time to do whatever we wanted.  We did a little shopping in town after we were done at the beach, and then I took her to the airport.

Days went by and I kept trying to get TJ, but had no success.  I made it a point to call at least once a day in hopes he would answer, but he never did.  The days became weeks and I was buried back in my work.  I had to fly to New York to meet with my boss to discuss my plans with the company.  I loved my job, but I did not want to move back to New York.  I wanted to see what options I had to stay in Santa Barbara and stay with the company.

I flew in on a Tuesday, met with my boss on Wednesday and was on my way back on Thursday.  She made me a first line editor, focusing on articles that were in their first submission to the magazine.  It was an ideal situation for me. The deadlines were mkre flexible with this position, so it still allowed me time to appreciate life.  I had a hard time doing that since Brody died, and I knew in order to keep moving forward it was necessary for me.  I was able to bury myself in work without forgetting to live a little.

I continued calling TJ every few days and was really frustrated that he was still not calling me back.  I finally sent one last text and decided if he didn't get back to me, that would be it.  I would move on.  

Ok listen, I get that things got messed up.  I was hurt and felt betrayed by both you and Brody.  I have worked really hard to move past it all.  At the party, I started to let my wall down and opened my heart again to you, and then you just walked away and shut me out.  Without any explanation.  All you are doing is proving to me that my first thoughts about it all was true and that I shouldn't trust you.  Which hurts. So bad.  So either grow up and talk to me, or consider this a permanent good-bye.  I can't keep carrying on like this with my life in limbo... Please just figure it out.