Love is Not Bullshit

3⎮Fairytale spell

I stiffly get out of the bed and  move to stand next to the window; a blanket draped over me and Julian's socks warming my feet. White, candid snow is falling from the grey sky. I hear the sound of a doorknob twisting and Adrian's face pokes in. He is smiling like a Cheshire Cat. 

I rapidly walk out of the door and close it behind me. Adrian starts laughing when I fix my murderous stare on him. Most of the time I love him, but his drunk self has a lot to answer to. When I ask him to explain himself, he swears it wasn't him that locked the door. When I ask him why it took them so long to open the door, he confesses they'd just woken up. 

I briefly wonder if I shouldn't take my anger out on him. But he's the only here and he doesn't look nearly as sorry as he should be feeling. So, I do it anyway. Locking people inside rooms isn't exactly normal. It's true that I know Julian and trust him, but still, it simply isn't ok. 

When Julian reappears he finds me on the balcony, cuddled up in Bianca's sweaters and with three layers of socks on. "Good morning sleeping beauty". I say without looking at him but all he has to do is appear that already a smile is on my face.

"Funny". He bends down so that he's eye level with me and, for a moment, I think he's going to kiss me but he never leans in. I desperately want our lips to touch but I don't move. I fix my eyes on the bannister of the balcony instead, drops of water meet and then fall together. Is that what happens in relationship too? 

He gets a chair and sits next to me, taking half of my blanket. We sit in silence for a while. I make it look as if I'm mesmerised by the snow falling in front of us, but really, I'm watching him. 

I'd heard him arguing with Adrian before coming outside. Maybe, he hadn't been as calm about the locked in a room together episode as he'd wanted me to believe.  

"Nora I -" he's interrupted by a weird noise and, when I turn, Adrian and Bianca are making kissing noises behind us. 

I laugh at them but I suddenly feel very uncomfortable. One thing is being in a bubble with my thoughts but if other people are hinting there might be something between me and Julian it's another story. 

Can everybody see how much I like him? 

Can Connor see it? 

When Julian follows them inside I text Connor, asking him what he's doing. I tell myself I'm texting him because I genuinely care and not because it feels like I'm betraying him. 

Julian is laughing, cocooned between our friends. He looks at me, his eyes twinkling and he smiles. One of those smiles that are so beautiful they make you ache, I turn away. It's nearly six in the afternoon. My parents  called to say they would stay at my aunt's one more night, all highways are closed. I can't spend the night here again, I need to go home but none of the others seem to be worried about leaving anytime soon. I could ask Connor to pick me up but it would probably be quite dangerous and very unfair on my part. 

"Nora, you alright?"

"Yes, going home" I found my bag laying on the sofa next to the kitchen, my shoes exactly where Julian said I would find them. 

I'm not looking at him, his eyes are dangerous, they make my heart beat too fast. I can't even describe this feeling, it's like I know that if I look at him my plan will dissolve and I need to get away from get away from this house, get away from him right now. I need to think.  

"You should stay". I can't tell what he's thinking from his tone of voice. When I look at him, he's not wearing his pretty smile, it looks like a smirk, like he knows I can't refuse. It's the pretext I need.