sirius black x reader oneshots

ASK SIRIUS

Comment your questions

H E R E

And I'll post the answers with the questions here:
~
S = Sirius
J = James
R = Remus
P = Peter
L = Lily
M = Marlene
~

Yo how did you and Peter become friends?
   S: That's a good one. How is he even worthy of my greatness? Anyway, he just kinda sat with us on the way to Hogwarts, and we've been stuck with him ever since. No offense, Pete.
   P: (from the other room) None taken!

Why are you so pretty Sirius?
S: Oh Lia. Charming, naïve Lia. So sweet. So innocent. So–
J: JUST ANSWER THE GODDAMN QUESTION!
S: I dunno.

HOW DO YA FEEL ABOUT (Y/N)? DO YOU SHIP WOLFSTAR?
   S: Oof. Two questions instead of one. Kids these days. Can't count.
   S:
   S: ANYWAY uh (Y/N) is the love of my life she is my soulmate I couldn't live without her and if she's reading this (Y/N) I LOVE YOU!
   S:
   S: SECOND. Um. Uh, what's "Wolfstar?" Sounds like a band. Is it like the Weird Sisters? *gasps* Is it better?

How long do you spend doing your hair?
   S: That's confidential information.
   J: Usually about three hours. 
   S: That's no true!
   R: James, he's right. It's only about five. God, you–
   S: Okay, okay! Like a half hour. Happy?

Do ya love meh Sirius? Jk, jk. Teach me your techniques of sassiness.
R: That's two questions.
S: Yes, Remus, I'm pretty sure I can count.
R: Okay. Then answer.
S: Okay. Fine. Uh, first question. I don't really know you, but sure. I love you, Gina! *faints*
R: He didn't actually faint.
S: SHUT UP. Second. Um... how to be sassy? Step One: Wake Up. Step Two: Be me. Step Three: There is no step three. BAM!
R:
R: I am so sorry.

What type of girls do you like?
   J: Any girl that chases after him screaming about his beauty. Next!

Have you ever had a crush, or did you not have time for that, considering everything that has happened so far? If so, who?
   S: Well, in second year I had a crush on Marlene, but that was only for... three months?
   M: More like the whole year.
   S: Shut up.
   M: I–
   S: YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

Why/How is your hair so beautiful...?
   S: Darling, my hair is a work of art. No one knows how, except me.
   J: Don't you fvcking dare–
   S: BUT you can buy Mr. Fleamont Potter's Sleekeazy Hair Potion to get hair just as thick and silky as mine! (Actually that's not really true no one has hair like mine). This potion really does work! Just ask me, a faithful Sleekeazy customer!
   J: I hate you.

What hair product do you use??
   S: You'd never guess that Mr. Fleamont Potter, father of Mr. James Potter, created–
   J: GEE THANKS.

Do you like girls with short hair, glasses, and a tendency to be sarcastic and awkward?
   S: I–
   J: He likes any girl. Any girl.
   S: What he means is–
   J: Just give him your consent and you're golden.
   S: James! I am so much more than that!
   J:
   S:
   J:
   S:
   S: ... right?

Do you give free rides on your bike or do people have to pay for them?
   S: Have people pay to ride my bike? Are you joking? Of course!
   J: He makes you pay extra if he rides with you.
   S: Well? What do you expect? People don't just get free bike rides with The Sirius Black! Hogwarts would be in chaos!
   J: He thinks too highly of himself.
   S: A man can never think too highly of himself.
   J:
   J: Yes he can.