Light. (Sequel To Ride)

26

Harry

Dr. Reed's office was a lot different than the typical therapist's office. A bit messy in my opinion, but it was nicer this way. Made me feel like I had different topics to talk about to avoid the real reason I was here.

"I like that picture of the car you have over there, is that a 1977 Toyota Celica GT?" He nodded. "Sick, is it yours?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"Nice." He chuckled looking down at his notes.

"Let's talk about your wife Jane for a moment?" Dr. Reed was the best my insurance can pay for. We were on our third session with each other and it had been getting better. "What is she like?"

I sat back on the couch and sighed. "She's smart, she's a teacher so she has to be. Funny, tell great jokes and can laugh at- well she's not laughing a lot anymore."

"Why?" He wrote something down. I explained to him everything about Ashton and what he did. "How does that make you feel?"

"Angry, like I want to beat his ass," I confessed. "I won't do it because I know how that ends up, me in jail, again."

"Is this Ashton behavior bringing up memories with your sister?"

"Yeah, I guess, Jane is so sensitive. It worries me you know?" He nodded. "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure, how about your father Harry, what was he like?" I rolled my eyes. "Do you not want to talk about him?"

"What do you want to know?" I asked back.

"His name?"

"Desmond, he died when I was thirteen, maybe. I hadn't seen him since I was a kid. He'd beat my mom and us. He had no sense of humor or respect. He was drunk and-" I paused for a moment. "I promised I wouldn't be like him. I told myself that if I got married I would do it for love and not because I got a girl pregnant. I promised I wouldn't be so angry and aggressive towards people." I stopped and thought about it. "I'm exactly like him."

"What makes you think that?" Dr. Reed asked writing something down.

"He was an alcoholic, so am I. He got a girl pregnant and had to marry her and me-"

"Did you want to marry Jane?"

"I did, I wanted a family and she was giving me that. We just had a wedding, her dream wedding. She looked so happy, and I felt this feeling inside that was so warm and- I can't describe it."

"Happiness?" I nodded. "Let's backtrack a bit, how did you and Jane meet?" I told him our story. "Tell me, Harry, have you had any past relationships besides Jane?"

"I had a thing I guess with a girl named Sara. She loved me and I was a drunk who needed love. When I got out of jail it was just random hookups and one night stands." He wrote something down. I explained everything about Sara and how I got up and drove off that day. "I said I was going to drive to L.A. but I was still drunk that morning, and I got in an accident. I was staying at a shitty motel and I was outside fixing my bike when I got a job. I didn't plan on staying in town but I did."

I always got sidetracked when I spoke. I began scratching my arm. Dr. Reed watched me carefully making me stop.

"When did you decide to stop drinking?" I thought back. "Let me rephrase the question. What action led you to stop drinking? Was it the accident?"

"I got stabbed, well I got a knife pulled on me. It was January and football season. I'm at a bar drinking after work and I see this guy, yelling at his girlfriend. He hits her and I snap." I explained. "I'm leaving and he pulls out a knife and cuts me. Something just clicked that I had a problem that night when I didn't realize I was bleeding. I was so numb and empty. I quit drinking and worked all day to save money and found a room to live in. Went back to school and met my wife." He wrote something down.