Barbie Transformation

He's my hope

"Come here Emmy" Hunter smirks and walks towards me. He's only in his boxers. Yum. He comes closer to me and I start to realise that his features are different. He looks older. He's holding a bottle in his hand too. What is that? Coca Cola?

"Lets play a game" those familiar words ring in my head again and again and again. When the figure is in front of me I realise the bottle in his hand is red wine and the person is my dad, not Hunter. 
My heart begins to panick. I start to run but everywhere I go, I'm running into a corner. I feel claustrophobic. My dad is nearing me and I shrink to the ground in a sobbing mess. "Please, don't hurt me" I cry.

He raises the bottle behind his head and swings it like a baseball bat. It hits me. Glass flies everywhere.

"No!" I scream and wake up, my eyes are watery and I'm hot. "Emmerson. It's okay, it was just a dream. I'm here, it's okay" Hunter soothes and hugs me to him.

I silently sob into his chest and eventually start to fall asleep in his arms. But before I slip away into dreamland I whisper, "it wasn't just a dream"

---

When I wake up in the morning, Hunter is lying next to me in his sleeping glory. I smile to myself. How did such a perfect god-like boy end up in my bed? Not like that, you dirty person!

I lift my hand and trail my index finger along his chest, making patterns. When Hunter lets out a moan, I decide to stop, not wanting to disturb him from his sleep. "No, carry on. It feels good" hunter whispers and all I want to do is moan just by hearing his morning voice!

I don't though and I carry on making patterns on his chest. Hunter pulls me closer to his body and I sigh in content and peck his chest. I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck and slip my leg over both of his, securing us in this position.

About thirty minutes later, I feel shuffling around me but decide not to react. Shortly after, I feel soft, warm lips on mine. They linger there for about three seconds and when Hunter pulls away, I open my eyes, eager for more.

"Morning sleeping beauty" Hunter smiles and I smile back and pull the duvet over my head, not wanting to escape from any warmth.

Hunter chuckles and slides down the bed, under the covers. He is staring at me intently and I can't help but feel a little insecure. I mean, it is morning, and I'm probably looking like a zombie.

What surprises me though, is that Hunter kisses me again. When he pulls away, I kiss him. He just grins back.

His smile starts to fade, though. "What's wrong?" I ask and Hunter shakes his head, signalling there's nothing wrong. I shrug it off and close my eyes again.

My throat is a little hoarse from all of the screaming I did last night. Last Night.

Realization hits me like a ton of bricks as I remember what my father did. I can feel Hunter’s cautious gaze on me but I dare not give my vulnerability away again- imagine how much control he would have over me if he found out my fears. People would judge me and my family and that’s not what I want.

I sort of trust Hunter, but I’m not willing to tell him about my childhood- yet. Besides, he’s only a decoy boyfriend, right?

He tucks a strand of my hair away from my face and I shiver a little when he thumb grazes my cheek.

I look into his eyes and it shows sympathy. “What’s wrong?” He asks gently and I shake my head, telling him I don’t want to talk about it.

He sighs, “You can trust me, you know that right?

I look at him, speculating him to see if he’s lying. Is he trustworthy? I think so.

When I take a while to respond, an expression of hurt flashes across Hunter’s face and I feel guilty. “I do trust you.” I grab his arm before he gets up. He stares at me with a look of uncertainty, “Then why wont you talk to me? Tell me what’s going on. Emerson, I’m supposed to be your boyfriend, I’m here for you.” He says sadly and I frown at him, “But you’re not my real boyfriend. You don’t like me like that- you’re only helping me because I blackmailed you. How do I know you aren’t going to use my secrets against me?” My voice quivers and tears spring to my eyes. The harsh words slice my heart but it could be true.

Hunter looks at me with many expressions, “What if I said I don’t mind that you blackmailed me- that I’m glad you did so I could meet you. What if I wanted to be there for you like a normal person? What if I was willing to share my secrets in return for yours? What if I did like you like that- like a real boyfriend. What if!” Hunter exclaims and throws the covers off of him, the light beaming on our faces. I’m speechless. Too many ideas are running in my head.

Does Hunter like me, like he said he might?

I look at Hunter curiously, “Did you mean it?” I ask and he looks everywhere except my eyes, “Mean what?” he asks and I smile, “Everything?”

Hunter nods and says a firm, “Yes.”

“What if I said I was willing to try?” I ask and Hunter snaps his head in my direction, “Try what?” He asks.

“I want to be that girl you share your secrets with, I want your shoulder to lean on. I want to spend time with you, knowing you aren’t hanging around me because I forced you to. I want you.” I admit and fiddle with my fingers.

My anxiety levels are high. What is he going to say? Did I push my limits? Was he kidding around?

“I want you too.” He says quietly and lies back down next to me, staring into my eyes. He gives me a soft tender kiss that has me hanging for more.

“But I need to warn you Hunter, my life is so fucked. I don’t want to drown you with me.” I tell him, a tear sliding down my cheek. He leans towards me and kisses the tear away.

“We’re both drowning. But whenever you’re with me, you help me swim forward. It will all be okay, but it’s going to take time. I don’t know what you’re going through but I’ll wait until you’re ready to tell me, like I’ll be ready to tell you everything.” Hunter stares at me with such admiration it makes me cry hard. No one has every looked at me like that- not even my mom or my gran.

Hunter hugs me to his chest tightly and I cling onto him like my life depends on it. And it does- I’m not going to get through this without him by my side. He’s my hope- he’s my sunlight.