my most recent near death experience was when i was riding the bus lmao
okay so the bus driver was going fast, like really fucking fast and i was scared i was gonna miss my stop so i had to get up on this bus that was jumping through fucking hyperspace
i was sitting next to a little old lady and i was tripping over her and cursing on my way up i felt really bad
anyway i pressed the little button signaling the bus to stop and since it was going so fast when it stopped everyone fucking fell over
i was falling near the little metal staircase everyone trips over and my head was 👌 this close to going right into it
i think the funniest and worst part of the experience was that i was watching a rip vine compilation during this time and i didn't pause it so when i was about to die all i heard was "why the fuck would i say printer"