T H I R T Y O N E
The next day
A L E X A
Cold.
Dark.
All the pain always somehow found me.
My hands ran under the sink water as I washed my hands. The soap slipped off effortlessly.
Once I was done I dried my hands off and turned to the mirror.
Around my eyes was dark circles and puffiness. My nose was red and my head was still pounding. My head also still brought those voices.
The voices that made me crazy. They flowed into my head and I couldn't get them out.
My eyes stared in the mirror. My face had no expression, but in my eyes was every single drop of pain and sadness.
The eyes were the window to the soul, and that was a fact.
I broke the stare by turning the water on again, putting some in my hands and gently splashing it on my face, rubbing it softly. I turned the faucet off and patted my face with a towel.
I turned back to the mirror and stared. The voices in my head driving me insane.
They taunted me, mimicked me, laughed at me... everything to hurt me.
I knew I was just going crazy. I couldn't cope without the two people I needed most.
They both died right in front of me and I couldn't stop it.
I squeezed my eyes shut and gritted my teeth, trying to flush the voices away. Before I could even control myself, I opened my eyes and my right fist connected with the mirror as hard as it could, shattering the glass and breaking the skin on my knuckles open, blood dripping out.
I gasped right as I saw the damage I had done.
"Anyone in here?" I heard a voice from outside.
Of course.
"Yeah. I'll be out in a second." It took me a few seconds to reply, but when I did, I replied with a sigh. My now bloody hand grabbed dad's jacket and slipped it on my body. I unlocked the door and opened it, coming face to face with Jesus.
He noticed the mess I made and raised a brow.
"Oh, Alexa, I'm sorry. I just had to pee."
"It's fine... I was done anyway." I muttered, moving past him.
I made my way down the hallway and into the main room, taking the jacket off because it was simply too hot.
"Good morning." Maggie greeted me. I sat down at the table, sitting next to Michonne.
"Morning." I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair.
"How'd you do that?" Maggie pointed out my hand. I just shook my head, letting her know I didn't want to talk about it.
"How'd you sleep?" Carol questioned.
"Not good." I shook my head. Carol had just came back from the kingdom, Ezekiel sent her here to check on us.
"How's the kingdom?" Michonne asked.
"We haven't gotten attacked or anything so good." Carol sat down with us.
"How are you guys holding up?"
"Another not good." Michonne added.
At this point, I wanted to go off on my own. I wanted to walk and see where I take myself.
I wanted to see how the world was going to kill me before I did it myself.
I truly was numb this time. I was empty. I couldn't light a match in me anymore. It was cold and pitch black.
