Just keep breathing

Chapter 16

Harry's perspective.

Katie still won't take my calls. It's eight o'clock here in Stockholm, and I've got to go on stage soon, but I can't get her out of my head.

I sit down slowly in the leather armchair in my dressing room, careful not to crease my yellow Gucci suit, and think back over the conversation I had with Mel earlier.

When I landed in Sweden, I'd tried to call Katie, but yet again it went to voicemail, so I gave Mel a call to see if she would be willing to fill me in a bit.

She told me a few things that Jeff said to Katie last night and explained what had made her choose not to come back to my house as we'd planned. I'm fucking furious with Jeff, who I know is down the hall with Lou and decide its best to try and talk to him and clear the air a bit before I have to go on stage.

"Jeff? Can I have a minute?"

"Sure H, what's up."

"What did you say to Katie?" I ask him, as calmly as I can manage.

"Ahh man, look, I didn't say anything you shouldn't have said yourself mate. I'm sure she's a nice girl, but really H, getting photographed with some girl you've only known for five minutes? You've got a tour to think about, you don't need that shit."

I give myself a moment to absorb his reply and try and see things from his point of view. Sure he shouldn't have said what he did. But, it's his job to look out for me.

"I like this girl Jeff. I know you're just looking out, but, you can't keep doing this. You've got to let me live my life."

"Can't you live it with someone more.. suitable? "Jeff stammers. "I mean, someone who understands the world you live in? She's a barmaid for god's sake."

"So? I don't give a shit, a person is more than their job. She's a nice girl, and she didn't deserve to be treated like that. You're right, she doesn't understand, which makes it fucking worse."

"H, buddy, I'm sorry OK?" Jeff apologises

Lou appears behind me, tapping her finger against her watch. I have to go on soon, and I can hear Muna's muted set coming from the stage and know they only have a few more songs to go.

"Just leave her alone, alright?" I say to Jeff and turn to follow Lou back into my dressing room. Hitting play on the CD player as I pass, my pre-show mix starts to play, and I try and forget about everything that's going on and get in the zone. I glance at my phone and see a text from Katie as Lou starts to fiddle with my hair.

Katie:
Sorry I haven't answered your calls, I don't think I can handle all of this, we live in totally different worlds and yours terrifies me. I need some time to think. Have a great show x

Fuck. I've completely screwed this up. I shouldn't have taken her out like that so soon. I should have known better than to think I could go on a regular date.

I made that mistake before, in New York with Taylor. Now I've done it again and scared Katie, the first girl in a long time that I've felt a connection with. Shit.

Harry:
Just give me a chance to make things right. It isn't always like that I promise. I'll be back in London on the 12th, and I'd really like to see you again. Please think about it. H x

As I stand behind the curtain on stage, guitar in hand, I clear my mind of all the drama's going on and take a deep breath. Mitch gives me a wink, and I sing the opening lines.

"Ooooh tell me something I don't already know.
Ooooh, tell me something I don't already know."

The spotlight shines through the curtain and blinds me for a moment. I hear the fans screaming on the other side, these people have travelled far and wide to come to see me tonight, some have been camping out on the streets for days.

I am not going to let them down. As the curtain falls, I start strumming my guitar and let the adrenaline rush through me. No matter how down I am, stepping on to a stage can always improve my mood. This is home.

"Tell me something, tell me something
You don't know nothing, just pretend you do
I need something, tell me something new
Choose your words 'cause there's no antidote
For this curse
Oh, what's it waiting for?
Must this hurt you just before you go?"