Just keep breathing

Chapter 24

I arrive at work flustered and upset. I've spent the whole journey here in tears, and now I look like some kind of feral racoon that's been left out in the rain as my make up has run all over the place. I try my best to adjust it in the rearview mirror before I head into the pub.

The time seems to drag even slower than usual. I can't stop thinking about Harry and all the things I said to him. And to make matters worse, in my hurry to leave the flat I managed to forget my phone, so I can't even message Mel for some TLC.

I'm starting to question everything I was so sure of just a few hours ago. Did he really mean it was our last night? Or did I jump to conclusions?

No, I gave him the chance to say something to make it right and he couldn't. It's for the best. It would never work between us long term. And there's still so much we don't know about each other. So much, I haven't told him.

He wouldn't have stuck around long once he knew what a mess I am anyway. It's better he leaves now.

By ten pm the pub is pretty busy, and I'm grateful for the distraction. There are only three of us working tonight, none of us has stopped pouring drinks for at least the last hour, and the customers are still standing three deep in places, all along the bar waiting to be served. As I ring up my last order and put the cash in the till I hear a voice call out my name and call back out of habit.

"Be with you in a minute!" I call back.

I recognise the voice, but over the din, in here it's hard to make out, one of the regulars I assume and glance around to try and find who spoke. That's when I spot his unmistakable green eyes.

"Harry," I whisper.

My brain catches up with what I see quicker than I'd have thought possible. He can't be here. There are too many people in here... Way too many. Someone is going to recognise him.

I pass the change roughly back to the customer I was serving and call out to Amber, one of the other barmaids on tonight, who's standing closest to me.

"I've got to take a break, sorry. Cover for me?"

She nods back and watches me as I walk to the end of the bar, gesturing for Harry to follow.

When he reaches the false counter section at the end, I pull it up and grab his arm to drag him into the back with me.

"Harry, what are you... " Before I can finish my sentence, his hands reach out and grasp my face, pulling me to him.

He kisses me hard, aggressively, our tongues swirl together in a frenzy as he pushes me up against the nearest wall and runs one hand down my breast to my waist where I feel his short nails dig into the soft flesh.

It's easily the hottest kiss I have ever experienced, I can feel my knees buckling, and I am grateful that his body is pressed so tightly to mine, pinning me up against the wall.

When he finally pulls back he is panting, he rests his forehead against mine and takes long, deep, steadying breaths.

"I don't want to say goodbye to you, Katie. " He whispers. "I'm sorry I made you question that. You just caught me off guard, and I didn't know what to say, didn't know what you wanted me to say. I don't usually do this. I wasn't expecting to fall so hard for someone so quickly. I don't know how to deal with it."

His voice seems deeper than usual, and he speaks slowly, enunciating every word carefully.

I open my eyes slowly and raise my head, forcing him to break the connection between us and take a step back. I stare deeply into his eyes, trying to read him, to judge if what he is saying is the truth, he stares back at me, never breaking eye contact, with a fierce glare, the sincerity is overwhelming.