Just keep breathing

Chapter 74 - Day Five

February 2nd

Mel's perspective

Last night was one of the most, no scratch that, it was the most horrible night I have ever had to live through.

Ben and I were curled up in my bed watching some stupid movie about Superheroes when Harry's text came through at nearly one am telling us that we needed to get back to the hospital.

I assumed that Katie had woken up and that he was letting us know as he had promised he would and bundled into the car with Stephen and Claire, leaving Ben curled up watching some guy in a red suit fly about.

Later though, I realised that there were no words Harry could have typed that could possibly have prepared me for what we were told once we entered the ICU an hour or so later. Having seen the state of him when we arrived, I am not entirely sure how he managed to send a text at all.

Sitting, straight-backed on the old faded sofa, Harry didn't so much as look up as we walked into the room. His red-rimmed eyes looked sore and tired as he stared resolutely at the wall, twisting the small purple present I had taken to the hospital earlier around in his large hands.

Katie was lying prone in the bed; she had been intubated again and seemed to be sleeping just as peacefully as she had been every other day that we had been here.

Why was she intubated? And why had Harry summoned us back?

Confused, Mr and Mrs Francis went off in search of a doctor, whilst I made my way to Harry's side and took a seat on the sofa next to him.

"Harry," I said quietly "Harry, what happened?"

He didn't so much as glance in my direction, and at first, I wondered if he had heard me at all, he just continued to stare, unseeing, at the opposite wall.

"Harry?" I repeated, slightly louder this time, placing a hand on his arm to try and get his attention.

Turning his head, he stared at me with those big green eyes in confusion, as if he'd only just registered that I was there, he opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words left his lips.

After a few moments, he simply turned his gaze away and continued to twirl the present around in his fingers.

As if Harry's mute state wasn't worrying enough, it took over half an hour for Katie's parents to return, and when they did, Mrs Francis just walked solemnly to her daughters bedside without a word, as tears fell freely down her cheeks, and began to brush the hair out of Katie's face, fanning it out on to the soft white pillow behind her head.

Looking at Stephen for an explanation, I rose and made my way over to his side as he explained what had happened.

"They said it was some sort of Psychosis, brought on by the medicine and the trauma... not unheard of apparently. She woke up... but she was in a right state, hitting the nurses, not seeming to recognise anyone. Ended up giving herself another asthma attack, a bad one by all accounts." Stephen relayed to me in a monotone voice, sounding wholly detached from the situation.

He could have been telling me about the weather for all the emotion in his voice, as his words sunk in, I realised this was his way of coping.

"They had to shock her heart again. To get it beating right. Doc says after that, she just went back to sleep."

"She's not sedated?" I asked him confused

"No. This is all her now." He said, gesturing towards the bed.

"What does that mean? I mean, what can they do?" I questioned, hearing my voice rise several octaves as I spoke.

"They're helping her all they can. But it means we just have to wait. Wait and see." He said, turning from me and making his way over to join his wife, who buried her head in his chest the moment he was close enough and began to sob quietly into his checked Flannel shirt.

Harry's perspective

I don't know how long they stayed for. But it was still dark when Mel wrapped her arms around my shoulders in an attempt to comfort me as they said goodbye.

Mechanically I connected my hands together behind her back and held her for a moment, feeling her tears seep through the thin fabric of my T-shirt, leaving a dark, moist patch behind on my shoulder.

...................

Gazing out of the window into the dark winter night, I watch the rain tumbling down at a strange angle in icy sheets, caught in the orange glow of a nearby street lamp it's illuminated briefly before splashing on the dark grey concrete beneath.

....................

I listen to the thunder in the distance. Counting the minutes before the flashes of lightning, trying to work out how far away the storm is like Gem and I used to do when we were little.

......................

Doctors and Nurses come and go. Stopping only for a moment to scribble notes on to the silver clipboard hanging over the end of Katie's bed, or to adjust one of the bags of medication hanging from the tall metal stands behind her. After a couple of attempts, they stop bothering to try and speak to me.

.....................

I watch as a man in a long trench coat huddles under a bus stop trying to escape the rain, wringing his hands together and blowing into them to try and ward off the cold as the early morning mist hangs low in the air.

.......................

I don't remember when I started singing. Just the twinge in my dry throat sometime after the sun came up that forced me to get up to gulp down some water.

And Katie, Katie sleeps on.

Katie's perspective