Just keep breathing

Chapter 61

Katie's Perspective.

I need you more than I thought possible. I'm a mess without you by my side.

I'm lying on my freshly made bed, having finally finished cleaning everything in the house that there is to be cleaned when, without thinking, I find myself reaching over to pick up the tear-stained piece of paper from my bedside table and re-read Harry's letter again. Hs words cutting through me like a knife and causing the stabbing pain in my chest to reappear.

"Please just let me love you."

Oh, Harry, you have no idea how much I want you to, but how can I give my heart to someone I don't trust? I make a decision, and without giving myself time to think about it or over analyse, I grab my phone and start typing him a text message.

"This is my new number. Katie" No, that's too impersonal, I can't send that...

"I miss you so much, Harry.."

No that's too intense for our first proper communication in over a week, shaking my head I hit the delete button.

Third time lucky?

"Your letter made me cry. Katie xx"

Hmm nope, so much for that idea, that's not quite right either.

Argh, why is this so hard?

Talking to Harry used to be the simplest thing in the world. Deleting the message for the third time I try again. I roll over on to my back on my bed, balancing my phone above my head and trying not to drop it on my face as I quickly type the first thing that comes to mind.

Katie:
The flowers are beautiful, and your letter made me cry. Katie x

Yes. That's OK, simple, to the point. Before I can change my mind again, I quickly hit the send button and place the phone face down next to me. So I don't sit here staring at the damn screen waiting for his response, which may never come.

Music. My go-to distraction for every uncomfortable situation, that's what I need. Hopping up off the bed I make my way to my battered old laptop and open up my trusty Itunes out of habit, but that's not quite what I want I don't think... hmm.

Opening a browser, I head to YouTube and glance over the recommended titles there.

Finally spotting the one I want, I hit play and sit back in the chair at my desk, watching as a very familiar face appears on the screen in front of me in a simple black shirt and bright yellow trousers, they'd match my car I think stupidly, grinning as the man on the screen starts to sing.

Sweet creature
Had another talk about where it's going wrong
But we're still young
We don't know where we're going
But we know where we belong

And oh we started
Two hearts in one home
It's hard when we argue
We're both stubborn
I know, but oh
Sweet creature, sweet creature
Wherever I go, you bring me home
Sweet creature, sweet creature
When I run out of road, you bring me home

Sweet creature
We're running through the garden
Oh, where nothing bothered us
But we're still young
I always think about you and how we don't speak enough