Just keep breathing

Chapter 50

Harry's perspective

Shit. Did I just say that?

I mean.. if I'm honest with myself I guess I've known for a while now that I am in love with Katie, I think I've loved her for longer than I am really willing to admit, even now.

That morning, on New years day though, watching her play with James' kids, that's when it hit me. That this girl is more special to me that anyone has been in a long time, that she's someone I can actually see myself having a future with. I couldn't help but imagine that those were our kids she was chasing around my garden, our daughter she was curled up asleep with on the sun lounger...

but to just blurt it out like that, over the phone, when she's in hospital on the other side of the world, I hadn't planned that.

I wander into the living room and sit heavily down on the sofa, grabbing the TV remote and start flipping through the channels, not really registering what's actually on any of them.

She didn't say it back.

I know I surprised her, god, I surprised myself.

But she didn't say it back. When my phone lights up on the coffee table, I nearly fall off the chair in my haste to grab it, Jesus Christ Styles, pull yourself together.

Katie:
I'm at St Helier hospital, they told me the best number to call for information is 020 8644 8562. I still don't know how much they'll tell you, though. Best to try my phone first xx

Well at least she's sent me the contact details for the hospital, there's no mention of my hastily rambled confession, but that's probably for the best right now. She's in hospital. She has bigger things to worry about at the moment.

I'll be home in a week, maybe its best not to bring it up until we're face to face again. Yeah, that's the best thing to do. I turn my attention back to the TV and try to find something to watch, eventually settling on an old re-run of friends that I've seen a thousand times, but I'm restless.

I hate being so far away from her and unable to help, I would have got on the next flight if she'd have agreed. With a flash of inspiration, I realise that there is one thing I can do at least and quickly reply to her text.

Harry:
Thank you. Please let me know when you are being discharged, and I'll send Toby to come pick you up. Try and get some rest. H x

There, that's something, and this way I'll know that she's gotten home safe. I quickly call Toby and leave a voicemail, updating him on the situation and ask him to let me know if he won't be able to collect her.

It's five in the morning in London now, so hopefully, he'll get the message when he wakes up, and it won't be a problem. I give up on my attempt to watch TV and head down to the gym. Hopefully, a workout will help release some of the pent-up anxiety swirling in my stomach.

Katie's perspective

The woman he loves.

I am still replaying his words over in my mind when Toby and I arrive back at my flat later that afternoon. Only now I am starting to kick myself for my reaction to it. Why didn't I say it back?

Deep down I've known I loved him since that night in the pub when he punched that obnoxious idiot in the face for knocking me to the ground. I think that's why I've been so scared. So tempted to run for so long, because a part of me had already realised how deeply I had fallen for this man and I was terrified of my feelings.