Just keep breathing

Chapter 68 - Day one

January 29th

I am paralysed. Unable to move, unable to think as I stare down at the immobile body of the woman I love in the bed in front of me.

Tubes are protruding from both her arms and her neck, hooked up to tall IV stands filled with bags expelling various medications and chemicals into her veins.

A series of wires are sneaking out from the collar of the mint green hospital gown she has been dressed in, hooked up to a large machine, which beeps mournfully in the corner, showing a collection of numbers that make no sense to me at all.

My gaze finally lands on her perfectly formed face, where a large clear plastic mask sits, a long blue pipe emitting from her mouth. I'm no doctor, but I've watched enough medical shows and movies to know what that tube is for. It's breathing for her.

She looks so small I think as my eyes stray again, focusing in on the small angry red marks puckering the soft skin around her neck, I feel my stomach lurch, and, rushing forward I just make it to a small porcelain sink by the wall before I begin to vomit noisily, expelling the entire contents of my stomach as the shock catches up with me and my body reacts.

Beads of sweat form on my forehead and no matter how tightly I squeeze my eyes shut and how much I pinch at the skin on my arm, I can't make myself wake up from this nightmare.

Leaning my head against the cold, stark white porcelain, I quickly rinse out my mouth and force myself to suck in deep breaths through my gritted teeth. She'll be ok. She has to be.

Moments later, I am vaguely aware of footsteps echoing around the large room, growing louder as whoever they belong to makes their way down the long passage between the patient areas.

I hastily wipe my mouth across my sleeve and turn to face the closed curtains, pulling myself up as straight as I can manage, squaring my shoulders, I plant my feet firmly ready for an argument. No one is going to make me leave her.

Mel's perspective.

I can't even bear to wait for Ben to come to a full stop outside the entrance to A&E before grabbing the door handle and flinging open the heavy car door. Hopping out on to the tarmac as Ben heads off to find a parking space, I pull my thin jumper tighter around my shoulders, the cold January air biting at my skin.

I rush through the automatic doors, grateful for the warm air that hits me as I step into the hospital and have a brief conversation with a very bored looking receptionist. She tells me that Katie is in Resus, and, after confirming my identity, apparently Mrs Francis called her just moments ago to let her know I would be coming to her place, she gives me directions and gestures towards a glass panelled door at the far end of the room.

"Just through there, straight down, fifth door on your left," she says robotically, barely bothering to look up from her computer screen.

"Thank you," I shout to contradict her rudeness and spinning on my heels.

I make my way towards the door to find my best friend. I hope Harry is already here. I hope she's not alone. I think to myself as I trudge down a long corridor. Finally spotting a red sign that reads 'Resuscitation,' I shove open the double doors and step inside.

"Seriously I'm her boyfriend! Her room-mate is on her way here now, but I live closer..."

The first thing I register as I walk into the large mint green painted hospital ward is Harry's frantic voice, and I force my feet to move faster beneath me, following the sound.

"I'm sorry sir, but until your identity is verified, I'm afraid I cannot permit you to stay," an authoritative female voice says back to him.

"If you think I'm going to leave that easily, I'm afraid you're mistaken," Harry responds, his words are polite, but there is a tone in his voice that makes it clear he isn't going anywhere no matter what she says.