Chapter 48: Blackbird

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Liyah's POV

"Why you wanna fly...blackbird? You ain't never gonna fly..." 

I held on very tightly to her hand as I found us walking through another dark hall that led where those familiar lyrics began to surround us with a soft hum. "No place big enough for holding all the pain your gonna cry..." The further we walked the louder it got. "Cause your momma's name was lonely...and your daddy's name was pain." The rhythmic beat of the drum made my heart ache and it made me not want to continue with following her in this hall of nothingness.

Then, suddenly, Nina's calming voice started to change and a smaller, but bigger one took its place. "And he called you little sorrow...cause you never loved again." Everything around me suddenly changed and I found myself in the stuffy atmosphere that I once knew as a child.  Very slowly, I turned around the area I was in as it all came flooding back into my mind. Stopping when I caught glimpse of the old, vintage record player where a vinyl was slowly spinning under the needle.The voice was coming from the from the speaker was eerie in its innocence. I took a step closer to get a better look. Something was wrong. The voice did not match the name that was on the vinyl. "What is this?" I found myself asking. 

"You forgot?" Grandma was suddenly standing next to me and I stared at her, startled. "That was your favorite song." 

I pursed my lips as I touched the record player. "I know what it is," I told her. "That's not Nina Simone." 

"I know," she nodded. "It's you when you were younger. " 

I looked up at her confused. 

"You used to love this song. This was the very first song you learned. You sang it all the time around the house."

"If you only understand, dear. Nobody wants you anywhere..." Those words ached my heart in more ways than one. And hearing my younger self 's voice singing it with so much joy did not make it any better. 

I turned to find myself in the house that I once shared with her and Leena. The same exact living room. It looked the exact way that I remembered it. The plants, the dream catchers, the sage burning the table. Nothing had changed at all. It was like I was a little girl living in that same place again. "You loved this song too," I told her as I turned to my right and made eye contact with the aging books that were gathering dust on the bookshelf. "You meditated with it on." I continued before finally looking down at her. "I never really understood why, though. That's a sad song." 

The corner of her lips curled up and soon a smile appeared. A real one. "The same reason why you are hearing this song in your voice is the same reason why I listened to it while I meditated."

I raised an eyebrow. 

"It spoke to my soul, baby." she laughed. "The same way it speaks to yours. Probably not for the same reason, but..." She then shrugged and walked away. The music had stopped and it was silent. The smell of the sage began to fill my nose and I felt nostalgia wash over me. I felt like a kid again. "What do you remember about this house, Flower?" She called. 

I looked back the record player and noticed that the vinyl was still spinning. "Um..." Very carefully, I picked up the needly and place back on the edge of the vinyl. The song began to play and my little voice began to surround the room again. Singing that sad song with so much joy. "Uh..." I took the needle off it this time and set it aside. 

"Yes?" She asked. I looked up to find her leaning against the wall. Her eyes fell on on the record player. "You can't ignore that."

I glanced back at the record player. "I remember being happy," I say. Ignoring the strange statement she had made. "I remember how I used to run across the street to that field where the camellias would grow. I used to pick as many I could to bring back to you. That's why you called Flower."

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