Learning to Live

Chapter 1

"Ian Somers? The doctor would see you now." Said a nurse dressed in scrubs. I quickly glance at my watch, its 9:30 am. She shows me the way to the doctor's office. She gives me a polite smile and opens the door for me. Something about her reassuring smile puts me at ease, because being urgently called back to the doctor's office the day after a checkup wasn't good news.

The five cups of coffee I had earlier, to calm my nerves still wasn't working. My hands got clammy and my throat starts to feel dry. God, I hated going to the doctor. Everything about this place screams bad news; from the smell of disinfectant to the tacky pictures hanging on the walls, and not to mention the sad faces in the waiting room.

I took a seat at Dr. Martinez's desk. His face is somewhat stern but he is the nicest person I know. "Morning Doc. What? Am I gonna die?" I laughed, nervously.

His eyes peek up at me from behind his glasses, "Good morning Mr. Somers."
‎
‎"Is everything alright with my results?"

He picks up a folder from his desk and looks through it, "Mr. Somers I'm sorry to tell you, we've found a malignant tumor in the temporal lobe of your brain."

Not so nice now, uh?

My smile faded, "Wait, what? But I feel fine."

"Yes, but in some cases, malignant tumors show little to no signs. Mr. Somers, you have a brain tumor that is cancerous and it's at a stage where it's very difficult to operate on."

"Am I going to die? If so, how long do I have then?" I quickly regret my question because I didn't want to know.

"Well looking at the size of the tumor and its severity...8 months to a year." HE steeples his fingers, "We'll try to do everything to help shrink the tumor and then possibly..."

His words start to fade and the sound of his deep voice keeps drumming in my ears. I felt like there was a war going on the inside of my head and it was driving me crazy.

Shit, I'm going to die?

Do you know when someone learns that they're going to die, their whole life flashes before their eyes? Where for one moment, they would see everything that has happened in their lives; good or bad? I didn't see anything good. All I saw was everyone that I've ever hurt in any way and unfulfilled life, it scared me.

"We'll continue with chemotherapy and-" Dr. Martinez stops and I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, "Mr. Somers. Mr. Somers?"

I came out of my thoughts, "uh?"

"I was telling you about the steps we'd like take to help slow the growth of--"

"Fuck." I cut him off. "Sorry, I gotta go."

"Mr. Somers?"

My heart starts pounding out my chest and my blood started to boil. I realize that I need to get out of there as quickly as I can. I felt like hitting something and I didn't want to do something I'll regret. I hurry to the door and took one last glance at Dr. Martinez. He was walking towards me trying to calm me down, but I didn't want anyone to comfort me.

I went in my car and my mind went blank, I didn't know what to think. I couldn't believe what I've just heard. I never thought that this was ever going to happen to me. The doctor's deep voice kept repeating the words 'You have brain cancer' in my head.

I have brain cancer? But this can't happen to me now, not when my company is in its prime.

I rub my face to snap out of it and started the engine. "Why me? Uh? Me!" I hit the steering wheel, "I'm only 28 years old. I built a successful company. Damn successful!"