Learning to Live

Chapter 3

Her brown eyes and beautiful smile haunted my dreams last night. Lying in bed, motionless and staring at the ceiling. I couldn't get her out of my head and I didn't even know her name. I need to know who she was. The sun starts to peek through my curtains and its warmth touches my skin. I try to get up but a sharp pain shot through my head. I groan, "Not today cancer." I suck it up and get ready for work.

As I walked into my building I heard someone shouting, "Where is he?! Where the hell is he?!"

I could see a tall man with a shaggy beard and hair; he's wearing a black hoodie. A security guard stands in front of him trying to restraint him. His cold, angry eyes met mine and he begins to walk towards me with clenched fists. The guard tries to hold him back. He yelled at him, "Get off me!" and pushes him to the ground. Two security guards run up to him and hold him back.

"Somers you son of a bitch! This is entirely your fault!" He looks so familiar but I couldn't place him. "No one else to blame but you!" He yells and punches one of the guards, "Get off of me!"

They wrestle him to the ground and handcuff him. As they were escorting him outside, he turns his face and glare at me. Then I remembered him. Jake Hartley.

He was a disgruntled employee that I fired a year ago. He tried to burn down my office after I told him that his work wasn't good enough. I should have put him behind bars, but I didn't and now I'm regretting it. If he was blaming me for him being fired, it's all on him. He got himself fired...not me.

Later that day, Jon came by again to have the meeting that I canceled before. After the meeting, he stayed in my office, "Ian, are you okay? You look paler than usual." He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

He pulls his chair closer to my desk. "Lately, I've noticed you've been puking a lot and you look like hell man."

"It's just a bug going around. Seriously, I'm okay."

I didn't want Jon to know that I have cancer because I didn't want him to pity me. When people find out that you have a life-threatening illness, they tend to treat you differently and I didn't want that. I didn't want people to pity me.

He furrows his eyebrows. "Are you hiding something, Ian?"

"What are you talking about Jon?"

"Okay. I'm just gonna say it. You look like you're on chemo. Do you have cancer?"

My heart stops. How did he know? I couldn't believe he figured it out. No one knows about my illness, except for me and my doctor. I laughed it off, "What? You're insane. I told you it's just a bug going around."

"A bug my ass. Ian I know cancer. My aunt had it before she died. Remember?" He crosses his arms, "Well if you don't, look me in my eyes and tell me you don't have it."

I sigh and stare into his green eyes. I'm just going to say it. "I don't have..." but I couldn't do it. I can't look in his eyes and lie to him. I sigh, "Yeah. I-I have a brain tumor."

His mouth drops open, "My God, Ian. I'm so sorry."

"What are you apologizing for? You're not the one who's dying."

"You're dying?" Tears form his eyes. "My god...Ian." He cups his hands over his mouth.

"Doc said chemo will help but...it's inoperable. I have about a year to live."

"A year?" He places his index finger on his lower lip, "Okay I have a plan so just cheer up man. You're not dead yet. We could still fix this." His voice was shaky and weak. "I know this dude who knows this doctor he works wonders. He's a great doctor...but very, very expensive."