Learning to Live

Chapter 18

It's been weeks since I've seen or spoken to Shana. She wasn't texting me back or answering any of my calls, I'm pretty sure she blocked me. I had so much on my shoulders; Shana won't speak to me, Ashley kissed me and made things more complicated. I needed someone to talk to but my best friend Jon wasn't even speaking to me either. Why should he? I punched him in the face on his birthday. What kind of friend does that?

Here I am, in my office thinking of ways I could make things right with Shana but I kept but my thoughts keep going back to Ashley and the kiss we shared. I didn't know why I did it but I was an idiot for not stopping it. Whatever feelings I had for her in the past was long gone, since I caught her cheating on me with Nathaniel. Curse sappy moments, they make people do stupid things that they wouldn't normally do. Nothing but a nice glass of Jack Daniels to steady my thoughts.

A soft knock on the door made me spin around in my chair. I spun around so fast that some of my drink spilled. I was hoping it was Shana, but it was Ashley smiling and waving through the glass door, holding a small bowl in one hand. She seemed like her old self wearing designer clothes and red lips.

She opens the door, "Good Afternoon Mr. CEO."

"What are you doing here?"

"I Stopped by Joe's and got you a cherry pie. I remembered you liked anything that comes from that crappy place." She said, sitting in the chair opposite me and resting the container on my desk. She looks at the drink in my hand. "I thought you quit. Well, I guess it doesn't matter now since your dying." She puts her hands over her mouth, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound crass."

"No. It is a fact Ian Somers is going to die. Drinking should be allowed right? But Shana doesn't agree. She always wants me to stop. I know drinking has its consequences but it's not going to kill me...the cancer will. It is already killing me."

"You love her?" She asks opening the container and taking a bite of the pie.

"Yeah I do but I kind of messed it all up in Vegas. Anyways, I shouldn't be telling you this."

She takes off her jacket and sits back in her chair. "I don't mind. I've got all the time in the world now. I need to get my mind off of stuff, so spill." She slides the bowl of pie towards me.

"Okay. So I finally told her I had cancer. She freaked out a little bit, of course, that was expected. But after a while, she starts babying me. Telling me what I shouldn't eat, what type of clothes I should be wearing--"

She puts her palms up, stopping me. 'Wait, wait, whoa." She laughs. It must be great for her to hear all these horrible things in my relationship since I wasn't being very nice to her in the past.

"I knew it, I shouldn't have told you anything." I got up to pour myself another glass of whiskey.

"You idiot. Do you know how many guys would kill to get that much affection from their significant other? Ian put yourself in her shoes, she just found out that she's going to lose someone who she really cares about. You need to apologize to her."

Maybe she was right. I should have talked to her about this than to yell at her. Ashley gets up pours herself a glass. It was weird having her here and not have the urge to call security every time she opens her mouth. I like this Ashley, the one who's not a raging bitch.

"It's too late for that. I told her to leave. I broke up with her."

"Well, you want her back don't you?"

"More than anything."

She downs her drink, "Well let's go get her back."

"What now? Why are you being so nice to me?