Learning to Live

Chapter 38

It's been a week since Shana came back from visiting her estranged father in Atlanta. When she came back she was more different than when she left. She's happier and more active; she reminded me of the Shana I first met who were filled with smiles and hope.

I've asked her what happened in Atlanta but she always replied 'I'm not ready.' As much as I want to respect her reason, my blood aches for the reason why her previous depression was suddenly lifted.

I missed that smile, the one that always seems to make all my worries melt away. Her smile was like the sun raising over the horizon, lighting up the sky and when it's finally at its peak, its ray's lights up even brighter. She is my sun, lighting up my world, without her my world would be cold and dark.

"What are you thinking about Mr. Somers?" She said referring to my longing stare at her while she sips her cup of tea across from me. She's cuddled up under a fluffy green blanket while her baby blue pajamas peaked through. Her comfort in that chair sent a wave of certain bliss my way.

"What's got you smiling Mr. Somers?" She asked smiling nonchalantly. A loud thunder claps followed by the blinding flash of lightening. She gets up and wraps the fluffy blanket over her shoulders and walks towards me to sit, cuddling in my arms. "I always love thunderstorms. I love the angry growl followed by the light, gentle sound of the rain falling. When I was little, I used run out of the house just to play in the rain. Mark was scared of the loud thunder but...not me."

"Mark?"

"Yes, he used to cover his ears or make up an excuse to go to his room."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same Mark?"

"Yes. But he's no longer afraid...of anything."

I love this moment, just the two of us in this quiet room, talking, bonding in the midst of a thunderstorm. I think I might like thunderstorms just for this moment.

"Want to play a game?" I asked propping myself up.

"What you have in mind?"

"Never have I ever?"

"Wow, this is going to be interesting." She smiles maliciously.

"Okay, I'll start. Never have I ever...hooked up in public."

"Oh. Oh we're going there."

"Well have you?"

She bites her lips, "I have."

"Really? You? Pray tell."

"Why are you so surprised? Three things. Back in College, library, not a great experience at all. Nearly got caught."

"That's four things. " I laughed.

She burst out laughing, " Oh I'm gonna get you. My turn. Never have I ever done it with someone twice my age."

It's was like I was in a doctor's office and she was the doctor going through every single file of my past. "I have, and I'm not ashamed of it because age is just a number."

She raises her eyebrows, "How old was she?"

"I was 20 she was my boss who was 45. No big deal." She furrowed her brows. "Let's play something else."

"Okay, what is one thing you've always wanted to but never did?"

"This is going to be like a cliché bucket list but skydiving. Always wanted to but always felt intimidated by the height."

"You'll get to do it one day and I'll be cheering from the ground cause there's no way I'm going to jump out of a plane."

"I won't be afraid of the height now knowing that you'll be there." She gives me a reassuring smile. "What about you? What's one thing you've always wanted to do but never did?"