Learning to Live

Chapter 12

Every day that goes by, I'm getting closer and closer to the day I eventually get to meet the angel of death. Frankly, I don't think that he or she is taking me to paradise in the sky; where there is an endless supply of milk and honey.

I was off the chemo and that means that the brain tumor will make my life here on earth shorter. To take my mind off of it, I took on twice has much workload. I was depressed, stressed, and hardly eating. Shana kept asking me if I was alright, I kept assuring her that I was. Deep down I knew she knew that something was wrong with me.

Jon came to visit me at work. I was busy; I had way too much work to do. I wasn't up for his nonsense but he insists that we needed to talk. Since he was there, I told him what the doctor told me about the chemo not working.

"That's...bad." Jon crosses his legs, "aren't there any other treatments though?"

"Yeah, but I decided not to try them. Those treatments will only make me feel weaker, sicker and I can't have that. I'm happy the way I am."

He gets up, "are you crazy?! I bet it's that girl, Shana convinced you to do that. She wants you gone so she could reap the benefits. See? I told you she was a gold digger."

He's the one to talk. He hangs out with gold diggers all the time.

"Why would you say something like that? She doesn't even know I have brain cancer."

He picks up bottled water. "She doesn't? Well, that's good, keep it that way. The less she knows the better."

"What? Stop!" I place my fingers on my desk and glare at him. "I don't get it. Why do you hate her so much?"

"Hate?" He sighs, "Ian, I don't hate because it's a harsh word. I resent or dislike. I just don't want you to go through the same thing you went through with Ashley. You don't need all the added stress, considering what you're going through now."

"I need her. She's been the only good thing in my life as of recently and you need to get to know her first before you judge."

He rubs his hands together, "An only good thing? Then what am I chopped liver?" He asked with a dead-pan look on his face.

"You know what I meant."

"Okay, Fine, getting to know Shana is on my to-do list. Speaking of stress, you need to relieve some, and I have the perfect way you can do just that."

I narrow my eyes, "how?"

"You know my birthday is coming up right? The big three zero and what's a better way to celebrate than in Vegas?"

"Vegas?"

He spread his arms, "Vegas baby. You can bring Shana if you want. You wanted us to get to know each other right?"

"I guess, but I'll have to ask her first."

"If she's not coming...it doesn't matter, with or without you I'm going to the strip club." He said, grinning.

Jon was always the one who made crazy spur of the moment decisions, which I always stupidly agree to. Some bad, some good but this one was his best one yet. He was right, I needed some time off. Taking on extra work and constantly worrying about my death was taking a toll on me.

I want to tell Shana everything, but deep down I was scared. Scared that she'll leave me but the truth was hanging over my head like a huge rain cloud; ready to pour.

Shana agreed to go to Vegas with us; except the fact that she tolerates Jon. Jon told us to meet him at the airport at 1 pm. We've been waiting in the lounge area for almost an hour. Shana was silent but clearly upset. Her glaring eyes meet mine, "Jon always does this." She looks at her phone. "If he's not here in 10 minutes I'm leaving."