Sanders Sides One Shots

Never Stood A Chance

This video ^^^ is 15 seconds.

Disclaimer: Roman is not a bad guy. I repeat: Roman is not a bad guy.

...

Virgil had always just taken it. He was used to being deprecating to himself, since he had always done it. He did it so often, it took him a long time before he realized that Roman did it to him too.

At first, Virgil would make a joke about himself, and Roman would laugh it off, they'd bant, and then it would drop. Virgil appreciated that Roman didn't take it as seriously as Patton did, since Virgil didn't really mean to cause himself harm; at least, not really.

It blew right past him when Roman's banter tended to get a little more heated, and the jokes he'd bounce off Virgil started to get more and more dark. Virgil loved him.

Call it Stockholm syndrome if you must, but really, it wasn't. At least to Virgil it wasn't. They were in a relationship, and Virgil loved Roman, and he believed that Roman loved him too. It wasn't his fault that love is blind.

Virgil had to come out of his shell, quite a bit actually, to keep this relationship with Roman going. Roman had started out being the protective and clingy one, but it seemed that once he realized Virgil was stuck to him, he stopped trying as much.

And that meant Virgil had to try harder. He would have to pull Roman away from whatever he was doing to spend time with him, usually unsuccessfully. Roman would bat him away, claiming to be working on something more important: another video idea, setting up a relationship for Thomas, whatever.

So Virgil let it be. He fooled himself into believing that he could wait, and that he didn't deserve time with Roman. If he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend, Virgil would get what he could take, even if it was only in short amounts.

He knew Patton and Logan didn't understand. They tried to tell him that it wasn't worth it, or that it was hurting him more being in a relationship. Roman had laughed about it when he told him, and Virgil had to crack a smile at Roman's response. "Maybe they're right."

Virgil didn't really know what he meant by that, but he trusted Roman. He loved Roman.

Their arguing in videos started to drag on even after they'd ended filming. Roman would joke about Virgil being a dark Side, even though Roman knew as well as he that he wasn't. He'd made a scenario as a 'what if' for it being true, and being the living embodiment of creativity himself, Virgil had actually started to believe it.

It became really hard to be self-deprecating when Roman would depress him all on his own.

"I want to break up!" He shouted it before Roman could talk over him. Again.

Roman just stared at him with a blank expression, before laughing. "Yeah, good one."

"I'm serious." Virgil tried to keep his voice steady, knowing that this course of action was hurting him.

"Don't joke like that," Roman frowned. "It's not funny."

Virgil stood up from where they sit together in Roman's room after Virgil physically pushed his way in the door. "That's the thing, it's not funny. Nothing you've been saying to me is funny."

Roman tried to speak, but Virgil had been used as a drink coaster for the last time, and he was standing his ground. "No, Roman. You're listening to me now."

He'd crossed his arms at Virgil's answer. The look in his eye clearly letting Virgil know that he was going to get it later.

And Virgil let it out. He went on and on about how he was sick of Roman's treatment, and how he was tired of being the only one trying in their relationship. Roman tried to argue back at first, but after Virgil stepped on toes again and again with more specific examples, he started to just take it.

Teary eyed and chest aching as his heart felt like it was breaking, Virgil finished his rant, breathing out heavily after finally getting it off his chest. He had said it, and he couldn't take it back.

Virgil was just simply done. Eyes clearing up as he no longer found it in himself to care about his anger for Roman, he realized that Roman had started to look guilty. Maybe he was actually tearing up, or maybe it was just another tactic to win Virgil's loyalty back.

But it didn't matter because Virgil was just simply done. He had been faithful and kind for longer than he could stand, and his declining mental state was proof of it. Not that Roman would have noticed the change.

The two of them sat in an awkward silence, but Virgil was less noticeable of it due to still being in shock that he had finally broken up with Roman. But Roman felt it, and he knew he messed up.

"Virgil, I..." He spoke slowly, not sure where to go with the confession. He hadn't realized it before, but Virgil was right about everything he said.

Roman had just assumed that Virgil could take it, and wasn't aware that his words hurt and his actions hurt even worse. He hadn't known Virgil was suffering, and maybe he should have just known, instead of expecting it to come to this, with Virgil opening up his heart to him.

But the damage had already been done, and there was no going back from it.

"I never stood a chance, did I?" Roman wished he could take it back, but that it could never be forgotten either.

Virgil looked up with a blank face. His cheeks and eyes were still red from sobbing, but his eyes were dry, having no more tears left to shed for a lost cause. He couldn't even feel the hatred anymore. "That's the sad part- you did once."

...

I am genuinely sorry. This isn't anything against Roman. He's truly growing on me, and I don't mean him any harm.