loss for words

anxiety

my past make me,
so when i tell you about it,
it's not so you can feel sorry for me,
or judge me,
it's so you can understand

inside i'm a wreck,
i'm the remains of torn apart human beings who faced a battle of life.
outside i'm nonexistent,
i smile and sit in vacant silence

my mind is as loud as can be

there's so much hidden within the word i barely say,
so much weight in the lightweight,
if you could read my mind you'd be in tears.

i'm afraid of failure, so i rarely have the urge to try.
i desire to be alone, but i feel so lonely.
i want to care, but i don't.
i'm scared and tired of it all.
i've become too numb to my feelings.

wrecked with anxiety