loss for words

i'm fine

it's okay, i should have known it would be this way.

you don't have to love me. so don't give me an apology.
please don't feel bad. i swear i'm not sad.
you weren't really mine. so, i promise i'm fine.

it doesn't bother me that much. i can live without your touch.
honestly, believe me.

so, don't look at me like that with those eyes.
it wasn't really a surprise.

deep down i knew. that you didn't love me too.
it was all asinine. but, i promise, i'm fine.

overcome with the feeling you feel when the person you love doesn't love you back.
made me clutch my chest like a heart attack.

but i'm okay, that's just the way
i knew you would decline
so, truly i'm fine.

i've loved you for years and years.
should have known it would end with tears.

i've always been there for you.
i feel ridiculous and look like an idiot too.

my heart dancing when you were around.
but now it's sinking deep into the ground

i thought the moments between us was affection.
it' was all in my head, i should be used to rejection.

but to you, our conversation was just friendly chatter. you thought it didn't really matter
but friends don't talk like i did to you. they don't laugh like you did too.

it should have been a sign. so, i promise, i'm fine.

but, hurts so bad.
to think about what we once had.

but i can't keep lying. you knew that by my crying.
i just couldn't pretend that it doesn't affect me. why couldn't you just agree?
because it doesn't work like that. there's no use in begging you to love me back.

borderline, i am not fine.

i don't want this to end. so i had to pretend.
i wanted you to be mine. so i lied about being fine.

i love you, and you love me too.
but only as a friend,

and that hurt too much to comprehend.