Tianshan one-shots/fanfics

Shifter au part10 (finaleeeee)

A small smile.
His features relaxed.
A silent chuckle.
There had been something in his eyes.
A youthful, shimmering.
He had been looking down, embarrassed.
But he also had been happy.
For a moment or two.
Until.
.

Was he dreaming again?
About him.
He tian rubbed his eyes, his sight blurry from yesterdays drinks.
He sat up in his bed, tossing the blanket to the side.
Darkness.
The curtains were blocking the sunlight-or moonlight, he tian didn't know- from coming into his bedroom.
The door to the hallway was opened and his eyes involuntary searched for a silhouette sitting on the couch, like they had done for months now.
Months.
4 months.
He tian shoved a hand into his dark hair, which roots had began getting greasy.
Tumbling to his dresser, he sighed lightly.
Another uneventful day full of meaningless decisions and untaken opportunities.
After eating some leftover pizza he had found on the kitchen table, he tian stepped in the shower.
Cold water fell onto his body.
He didn't care though.
He couldn't bring himself to care.

In the afternoon he tian put on some lose joggers and a basic black shirt to go out and buy something to eat.
On his way back from the 7/11 that was located near his home, he stopped and took some time to inspect the environment.
The gray streets were deserted.
Taking his mobile phone out of the pocket of his joggers he looked at the time.
{ 09:49 pm }
The sky had darkened and heavy clouds were covering the sky.
He should hurry back.

The instant ramen had left a bitter taste on his tongue.
After dumping some trash that had been laying around in the big apartment -the closest thing to tidying up he did in the last month- he started going through his clothes.
If he would go on a trip, which kind of clothes would he need to take with him?
-wait.
Why was he....
Stop.
'Stop. You don't even know if he survived. What if he- no. But this uncertainty. This not knowing. endure it. Endure it. Endure it. Just like brother had taught me. Simply endure it he tian!'
He tian sat on his bed, his hands digged in his hair.
Staring at the wall with a blank expression, he suddenly got up.

Walking through his apartment to find any boxable object he decided the bathroom door had to do the job.
His hand formed a fist and he, with all the power he had, boxed the wood.
For a few minutes he did nothing else, but when he saw a spot of blood covering the once white door he stopped.
With a few quick strides he found himself in front of the door of the room red had lived in.
Guanshan in his fox form.
His sweaty hand, that by then was also covered in blood, gripped onto the cold doorhandle.
Slowly he pressed the handle down and with a silent 'queek' the door opened for a few inches.
Stepping into the dark room he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in.
There still was the dog bed.
In that corner.
Hidden in the shadow.
And there was a smell of expired cat food, or was it dog food?
He tian couldn't remember anymore.
He entered the room fully, closing the door behind him.
After turning on the light, he sat in the middle of the 'once pet-room'.
The ravenette shuddered lightly.
he remembered how lively it had been with red.
Red had hopped and jumped around, especially around mealtime
Hesitantly his palms fell to the floor.
He huffed out a breath.
"So that's how it feels....heartbreak."
He tian laughed out aloud, amused by his own unfamiliar behavior.
This was very unlike him.
He was sick of feeling uncertain.
The only question he should be asking himself at the moment is:

"Was uncertainty better than misery?"

He tian had to know.
He chose possible misery, because the uncertainty was killing him- suffocating him with "what if's". It was driving him insane.
Quickly, he dialed zhengxis number on his phone, knowing that jian yi would be with him.
He had told them, a few days prior, to let him alone for a week to let him clear his mind without the constant worrying and deeds of his friends.
They had hesitated but accepted, seeing that their efforts had resolved into
nothing.