I feel pain in my chest
It's tighter than the fists we balled during our 3 am fights
I feel pain because I remember you said she was not your type
You did her anyway
I feel pain for the fights we have fought for admitting you hurt me
And I feel pain because you finally see it when it's too late
You are still immature but you will keep growing
I think of cool silver blades
I remember the feeling of how my skin split open
I remember now all the emotions I've suppressed and now it's back
I am not depressed
I am angry
I am sad
I hurt so bad
You say you're loyal
But you should have been the whole time
But I feel like fucking her was your intent the whole time
You change your stories so much it hurts
How am I supposed to believe you when all I did was thirst
I thristed for you to want me
And only me
I'm seeing bugs and rats
And it's sad because I don't know if they're real
I thristed for your lips
Soon enough I wanted your hips
I wanted to hear your soft moans
I wanted you up against my brittle bones
But you pushed me away
I guess that's okay
Because I remember the pain of when it finally happened
How I didn't even want to anymore,
I wonder if you still love another girl
I'm not an idiot
You delete messages from a girl in California
I saw a notification from her
When I looked, it was the same as last time I saw
I admit everything to you
I always tell you the truth
But when I ask for it
You lie and deceive me
Then expect me to believe?
I feel like bile rising in my throat
I wonder if I'll puke blood
Sometimes I hope I have cancer
Because then I would die like I should
