750 Days (1D//5SOS thriller)

Selfish!

Music: Stay High // Habits

  "You know, my family used to always party after the funeral ends," Phoenix shares. We were still sitting at the edge by the creek, two hours after Luke had a crying session. Night was falling, but we chose to ignore it.

  "Why would you want to celebrate after someone you loved just died?" Luke says, flabbergasted.

  "It for one, takes away the pain for a while, and two, chooses to celebrate that they lived instead of the fact they're gone," she explains.

  "That's actually not too bad an idea. We all need to take our mind off things," Liam says.

"I know a club downtown who let's in people eighteen and over," I suggest.

  "What?  You people are crazy! Does it even affect you that your lifelong best friends, boyfriend, or brother are dead?" Luke exclaims.

  "You're just bent because you're only sixteen and can't get in," Phoenix teases.

  "Well you guys can have fun with that, I'm gonna go home and attempt sleeping,  which is kind of hard after what just happened," Luke says.

  "Luke, maybe this isn't your method of greiving but it might just be ours, and you need to quit trying to make us feel bad about that and respect that," I say harshly.

  Luke looks down sadly and uses the tree to stand. We all do the same.

  "I'll be on my way home then. I hope you guys have fun, you deserve it. Im sorry for being selfish," Luke says, turning away.

  "Luke, wait up," I say. He stops walking and slowly turns around. Its just now that I notice the look in his eyes, and it alarms me.

  "I'm sorry for snapping at you. As you know, it's been a rough day. Call me if you need anything, okay?" I say.

  "Okay," he replies, walking away and disappearing over the horizon.

  To be honest, the look in Luke's eyes terrified me and I considered staying with him. However, I felt that for once in my life I needed to put my needs first. He'll be fine, mom's home anyways.  Even if she won't talk to us, she's physically there.

  "Let's go," I announce, turning back and walking the other direction with Liam and Phoenix.

  "Is he alright?" Liam asks.

  "He'll be fine, now let's go," I say, and we leave.

  Once we arrive, we show ID to the man in the front and enter a mess of glasses clinking, laughter, and loud music. Strobe lights flash everywhere, making it difficult to see. Strobe lights remind me of when Violet and I were thirteen, when she had bought a Strobe light set and we would lay down in my room with it on, pretending we were clubbing. We would talk about how we can't wait to get drunk and high and party under a set of strobe lights.  This is for you, Violet.

  "I've never been to a club before," Liam says, awe in his voice.

  "Well knock yourself out, literally," Phoenix laughs.

  A large crowd of people storms in, causing me to be lost in a sea of arms and losing Phoenix and Liam.

  I sigh and decide to do what I usually do at parties. I go and dance until someone asks to buy me alcohol. Bang It out by Breathe Carolina is blasting, and I decide to run in the circle and dance. Unlike Phoenix or Faye, I prefered being sober at parties because I love dancing and being able to control myself with it. It was when I was more ready for a hookup that I would start drinking. I don't intend on hooking up tonight.