I'm not gay

Sean

~Sean~

I let my eyes shut as the onslaught of screams echoed around me, my cheeks flaring. I wasn't angry per say, I was more irritated. Perhaps to the fans, this was just a manner of teasing, but I feel like I knew otherwise. It's shameful to admit I'd drop everything and anything for that man.

Despite spending a whole set of eight months trying to forget what desire I had for him, when I see him again, it all just vanishes and my lust for him became apparent. I felt a hand on my own and my eyes shot open, looking to my side to see Adam staring at me with a concerned expression. I've been with him for five months and he's been an angel to me, confessed his love and I reciprocated.

Even more shameful of me to say that my love for Adam was very... Flimsy. It could be strong at points but it wasn't a deep enough love to want him completely, unfortunately there was only one person who had latched to my heart in way that cannot be broken. It can't be broken, no matter how hard I try to break it.

"But in all honesty my dear", I averted my zoned daze from Adam when I heard Mark continue once the screams died down. "I am in fact, not gay", my brows furrowed and I decided I couldn't take it any longer. I had a feeling he was mocking me. Not gay? Sack of fucking shit, getting my hopes up like that. Not that I had a chance, being the fact I am actually in a relationship with someone who actually appreciates my being. I shot out of my seat and turned heading for the exit, Adam whisper shouting after me and scattering to follow.

"W-Wait", I heard a delicate yet familiar voice whisper, so faint I thought I had imagined it. I glanced back at the stage, to see Mark staring right back at me, instantly tearing his eyes away, shying from me.

Oh how the tables have turned.

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"Jack", I heard the voice mutter beside me which caught my attention, my eyes narrowed and I turned my back to him. "Jack, please", he said gently, I could see his hand reluctantly reach for me but he withdrew, only deepening my disappointment. "Did you really have to do that? Say shit like that on stage? Were you trying to mock me or get some sort of reaction?"

"Jack", he said again.

"I hope you got what you wanted Mark? Yet another fierce and depressed reaction from me, I hope you take pleasure in that you creep".

"Jack".

"Even after eight months you can't get your head out of your ass to realise how arrogant you fucking are".

"Sean", he spoke much sterner and I glanced back at him, to see his desperate expression. "None of what I said was in any way an attempt to mock you, that was just my long overdue confession you should have heard ages ago", he tilted his head and I took a step back as I turn to face him, my eyes wide.

"But... But..." My brows narrowed and I crossed my arms stubbornly. "You're 'not gay', right?"

"I'm not".

"Then why-"

"Oh Sean, I thought you'd know better", he chuckled deeply, sending shivers to shimmy down along my back. "There is in fact more than two sexualities", he tilted his head and my cheeks flared in shame and embarrassment, feeling as though I was caught off guard completely. "You... Never fail to surprise me Mark", I smiled meekly and he chuckled, stepping closer to me.

"Is that a good thing? Or bad?"

"A bit of both", he was reeling me in to his own advantage, leaning himself closer to me, his warm breath fanning over my cheeks. My eyes shot wide in realisation, shoving him back when I understood his intention. I may be head over heels for Mark but I am not unfaithful. I'm with Adam, he's been good to me in a way I have no idea how to thank him.

"Stop it! You can't just... Waltz your way back into my life and expect me to just drop everything I've worked because of some flimsy confession! For all I know you could just be getting my hopes up... And... And.." I noticed Mark backing away, rolling his eyes at me.

"Right, because of what's-his-face, right?"

"Adam!"

"Whatever", he turned away from me and he started meandering his way off. "You continue deceiving yourself to a replacement, see if I care", he was insufferable! One moment he's begging to have me, the next he's insulting my devotion. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean!?" I storm after him, shoving the stairwell doors open and marching after him as he went up the steps.

"Nothing, it just means you're easy to read", I scoff at him as I follow after him. "About what? What the fuck is your fucking problem!?" I had a feeling he was intentionally trying to rile me up, but I couldn't help but turn persistent and agitated.

"Oh nothing Jackaboy, go back to what's-his-face, I'm sure he'll be missing you", he yawned and turned through a door, my hands slamming them open as I continued to follow him down the hallway. "His name is Adam!"

"I could really care less what his fucking name is Sean", he pulled out some keys and unlocked a door, room '267'.

"All I know is that he's taken what I need, the one thing I realise I need most when I lose it", he tried to shut the door in my face but I force my way into the room, shutting the door behind me. "And what is that?" I scowled at him and he stared at me, obviously contemplating something.

"Fucking answer me you prick!" I screamed, shoving his chest but he grabbed both my wrists and slide his hands to my own, intertwining our fingers before he backed me up into the door. "What the fuck are you-"

He silenced me by pressing his lips directly over my own, my eyes shooting wide. He was kissing me. He was kissing me. He was kissing me! Even though it's not the first time we've kissed, it's the first time he has kissed me on his own intent. I found myself getting lost as my muscles relaxed and my eyes fluttered closed, melting into the kiss. My knees trembled and sank beneath me, Mark's right hand leaving my left to wrap his arm around my waist, holding me up to proceed his attempt to deep the kiss.

I finally reached my sense about how wrong this was and retracted my hold, placing them on his chest and separating us, hanging my head. "I can't... I'm..." I pushed back more and he didn't stutter. "I think I should leave, this was a dumb idea Mark, we shouldn't have..." I quickly opened the door but he placed a hand on my shoulder, making me look at his pleading expression.

This was a moment of deja vu.

"This is it for us", I turn my head away. "Jack... I-" he stopped himself and let his head drop, pulling his hand away. "Goodbye Mark..." I stepped out and looked at him, hoping he'd try and stop me. My mind was silently begging him to pull me back.

But he didn't.

"Yeah".

I shut the door.

And that... Was... It.

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I know, I just put up the last chapter but I had a spring of motivation. And I was DESPERATE to publish this part!

Hope you have a great day!

~ShadowIsEm~