I'm not gay

Mark

~Mark~

No. That's not it.

I force the door open and dash after Sean, seeing him waiting at the elevator. "Jack!" I cry out and he looked over at me with a frown, backing away once he noticed I was literally charging at him. I slow my pace when I got close enough, slamming both my palms on the wall and pinning him in place, quickly closing my lips over his.

I wasn't going to make the same mistake. I wasn't going to let him leave without actually trying to change our fate together. Maybe it is hopeless, that is entirely possible, but I need to try.

I pull away and see his eyes were wide open, full of shock and confusion. "What... What..." His cheeks flared up with bashfulness and he turned his face away. "Why did you..."

"I wasn't going to let you walk away from me like that a second time", I pressed my forehead against his neck, feeling his pulse on my skin. His heart was thumping hectically, his breathing had picked up too. "Mark..." I noticed his voice crack when he spoke my name, my head lifted and I saw his teary eyes, glaring at me.

"You... You... Asshole!" He hit my chest with his palms, knocking me back a bit. "You fucking.... Asshole!" He hit my chest again, a tear rolling down his cheek. He suddenly growled out a number of insults, weakly beating at my chest, letting out his frustrations onto me. Eventually I had to wrap my arms around him and drew him close to me, feeling his arms drape around my body as he dug his face into my chest, weeping.

"Jack", I gently brushed his hair, seeing him look up at me. He looks so innocent and vulnerable at this very moment, with his boyish yet masculine features and bright blue eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry", I leaned down and pressed my forehead to his, my eyes fluttering closed.

"Sean, I'm so sorry for... For everything I've done to you", I opened my eyes again, my vision glossed over with pressure. Sean cupped my face in his hands and stared at me, clearly digesting the sight. "You're an idiot", he cracked a gentle smile which caused my heart to melt twenty times over. "I know... I am, I totally am..."

His eyes looked me over but stopped at my hands, his fingers taking my wrists before they trailed to my knuckles which were still healing, tracing his thumbs over them. "Oh Mark", he looked back up at me before returning his stare to my wounded hands. "What have you been doing to yourself", he leaned down and kissed both of my hands, kissing my knuckles lightly.

"I'm sorry for taking so long to realise..." I heard him chuckle vaguely.

"Better now then never I suppose", he looked up at me again and smiled admirably. "You're the biggest idiot", I retracted, realising that anyone could just come out their room or the elevator at any moment and see us together. "I beg to differ", Sean scoffed, wrapping his arms around himself.

"After everything I've done to you... You still come back... You're an idiot", I didn't mean to sound so cold, he showed me a look of disapproval.

"Love does miraculous things Mark", he chewed his lips before he looked at me again, walking right past me and heading to my room. "What are you doing?" I sluggishly followed him. "I want to talk", he tapped his knuckles on my door, indicating he wanted me to unlock it. "I don't know if that's a good idea", the thought of being alone in a hotel room with him made dopamine extinguish within myself.

"And why not?" He tapped his knuckles on the door again, giving me a stern expression. "I don't know if I'll be able to restrain myself for too long", I noticed a blush shade over his cheeks and he smirked, snatching my keys from me and unlocking the door. "Then don't".

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I suppose Sean was just as nervous as I was, he made his way to the balcony almost immediately. I leaned back on the hotel door and watched him, this entire scene reminding me of when I first found out about Sean. I turn my head away and try to shake off the memory. "Mark!" He called to me and I hesitantly went after him, stepping out onto the balcony and gazing at him, seeing his head tilted back as he gazed skyward.

"I love night time... The stars are such a sight", he crossed his arms over the railing and gleamed. "I agree", I glance up before I look at him, shuffling my way to the railing and gripping it in my hands. I look at him again, my eyes studying him thoroughly. I wanted so bad to touch him but I knew I couldn't, regardless of whether he loves me or not. He has someone.

This was my punishment and I had to accept it.

"What?" I blinked from my daze to see him staring back at me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like... You love me", he looked away from me and his shoulders hunched. "Maybe... Because I do", I stepped closer to him and I heard him chuckle. He stood and faced me, leaning on the railing from the side. "I told you so", he grinned and I cracked a smile, hanging my head.

"What made you change your mind?" He asked me.

"When I saw you with... Adam", I scoffed at his name. "I felt something take over, a jealousy and an overbearing amount of guilt that I couldn't surpass... I suppose my arrogance left when I understood my feelings", I eyed my hands, not wanting to look at him. "I dunno, it's dumb".

I heard nothing but silence, but soon he stepped closer and embraced me, resting his head on my chest. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that", he hummed, looking up at me with a childlike stare. "I love you too Mark..."

"I can't and shouldn't but I do".

"Yeah", I wrapped my own arms around him and held him close, not saying any more. Just holding him in my arms was all I needed.

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Cute chapter eh?