I'm not gay

Sean

~Sean~

He wasn't pulling away or refusing the kiss. Why?

I pulled back and eyed him, seeing he had his eyes closed, almost like he was digesting what was happening. His eyes slowly opened and he looked at me blankly, not saying anything. I leaned back in to kiss him again, but this time he placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back, dropping his head.

Chica was barking and jumping around, most likely because of the rain, which was getting harsher by the minute. "Don't..." He withdrew his hands and took the leash, turning on his heel and walking in the direction of his house. I stood there for a minute, kinda... Soaking in what happened.

I eventually blinked out of my daze and hurried after him, calling his name. "Mark!"

"I don't want to talk right now", he said briefly as we arrived outside his home, opening the door and letting Chica scamper in. She was still drenched, as were we but...

"Mark..."

"Can't you take a hint Sean?" He said in a small voice, shivers rattling down along my spine. I was still so unfamiliar with hearing him say my name, because 99% of the time he called me Jack, even though he's been calling me Sean a lot more lately. "I don't need your sass and I really just need... Some time to myself", he raked his fingers through his damp locks of hair.

"Keep in your feelings is a bad idea", I was telling him the truth, but I also just really wanted to hear his thoughts right now. "I. Am. Straight, Sean", another set of shivers shimmied down my spine. "You're in denial", why did I have to be sassy? My response clearly ticked him off because he turned to me and threw his hand at me, slapping me across the face.

"Can you not? You wanted me to tell you how I'm feeling and all I fucking ask is that you bite your tongue from throwing cocky remarks at me! Fucking prick!" He sneered at me and I swallowed my heart down. Was it bad that I was kinda turned on? Mark getting angry made him seem so dominant. I like the dominant type. Submission isn't as exciting when you yourself are a submissive. Sex talk isn't what I should be thinking right now. Bad Jack! Get your head out of the gutter.

"S-Sorry", I looked down and he sighed, stepping back and turning away from me. "Who am I kidding... This isn't going to work at all", he grumbled and I frowned. "Just talk to me, I promise, I won't make any more comments", I promised both him and myself, deciding it was now time to be serious.

"You're just going to say 'I told you so'", he grumbled and my heart skipped a beat, a smile teasing at the corners of my lips but I tied my best not to let it show. "You've fallen in love with me?"

"Psh, in your dreams", he rudely scoffed and my heart numbed as my expression dulled. "Then tell me what it is and quit beating around the bush".

"I feel... Weird about you and I don't like it", he wrapped his arms around himself and turned his back to me. "Weird?"

"It feels right which is why it feels so wrong... That probably made no sense", he was getting frustrated and I felt my heart skip twenty different beats as my smile broke free. "You're falling in love with me".

"Would you cut that shit out!"

"I'm entirely serious! There's no other explanation! Well, maybe there is but it only makes sense right? Maybe you just can't stand not being my friend? No no, it's definitely the fact you're falling for me!' I tried to convince us both but Mark scoffed and turned away once more.

"You're only saying that because it's what you want to happen", he stated the facts and I sighed, kicking the floor. "Can you blame me?"

"Yes!" He said sharply, giving me a glare. "Those five days couldn't take any longer", he growled and I hung my head. "Why do you hate me being gay?"

"Because you're obsessed with me!" That remark made me punch his wall. "Fuck you! I'm not obsessed! I'm in love! There's a difference! If I were obsessed, your face would be all over my walls back home!" I snarled and he rolled his eyes, walking to his stairs but I blocked his way, slamming my hand into the doorway and backing him up into the wall, pinning him in place. "Quit being so arrogant".

"Get away from me", he turned his head away from me, clearly trying to avoid me kissing him again. "Why? I don't want to".

"I want you to, get the fuck away from me", he hissed and I smirked, lifting my right hand and gripping his chin between my thumb and index finger, forcing him to look at me. "Look at me".

Mark didn't respond this time, his eyes searched mine for something before his cheeks flushed. Was this how it felt to be dominant? I'd always assume Mark would be the dominant... It feels powerful... I like it. Maybe I should try being dominant more often? The thought of being dominant in bed crossed my mind briefly but I rejected it, nah, I still like being submissive.

"Can I kiss you?" I leaned closer and he turned his head away but I brought it back. "No!"

"Please let me", I wasn't going to make any moves until he gave me permission. His gaze hardened and he pushed on my chest harshly, knocking me back. "I said fuck off!" He left the room in a hurry and I watched him got, a smirk on my face. He was getting closer and closer to figuring it all out. I just hope he realises it before my time runs out.

____________

It was cliche for a while, now... It stops.

Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted...