I'm not gay

Sean

I'm not gay has been placed #1 in the Markiplier category, #2 in Septiplier and #9 in Jacksepticeye. What the fuck.

Also, in other news, I got my Markiplier Tasteful nudes calendar today so I'm in a good mood. But I also start exams TOMORROW. So updates unfortunately will be a bit slow.

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~Sean~

He didn't respond to me and I could only imagine all the thoughts swarming through his mind. All in one sudden moment, regret crossed every ounce of my body and I mentally slapped myself for saying what I had. Mark stared at me with wide eyes, his expression was sort of confused, like he didn't understand what I was saying before he looked down at the hot chocolate placed on the table before him.

"What are you thinking?" I asked worriedly, seeing his eyes sweep to meet mine. "A lot of things, mainly me doubting the trust I had in you", he crossed his arms over his stomach and looked towards the window. "You have no reason to distrust me", I leaned over on the table and he sneered with a chuckle of distaste.

"Is that so?" He looked back at me with a pursed smile. Of course he didn't trust me. After what we did, finding out that I was attracted to a woman who made me question my entire sexuality. He was probably thinking I had used him for sex before I'd dump him in the mud.

"Nothing has changed".

"Oh except, you know, your sexuality", he shrugged, his voice went higher to show sarcasm. "Mark, I haven't-"

"So what else did you lie to me about?" He turned to me, venom burning in his eyes. "Did you actually fuck her?" I hissed at his choice of words. "No, of course not!" I snapped, almost insulted he'd question my commitment to our relationship. You know, the relationship I've been dreaming about happening for nearly four years. The relationship I went through hell to finally receive. The relationship that made me doubt my self worth.

"Then what Sean?"

"I haven't done anything!" I snapped at him, his eyes widening in a cynical amusement. "Don't you fucking snap at me".

"Don't you fucking insult my dedication to you!"

"What do you expect Sean? Me to go frolicking into the sunset in pure glee because one fucking woman made you reconsider your fucking sexuality? What else am I supposed to think!? You just told me that she changed you from being gay to bisexual! Is that why you didn't tell her we were dating!? 'Don't insult your dedication' my ass!" Mark hissed at me and I glared, my fingers curling into fists. Thank god the cafe was practically empty.

"I did!"

"Bullshit!" He slammed his fist into the table, leaning forward slightly. "Tell me Sean, fucking tell me what would've happened if I arrived when I was supposed to, and don't fucking lie to me", he watched me intently.

'Nothing. Nothing would've happened. I wouldn't have slept or touched her. I wouldn't have slept or touched you. I wouldn't have had the courage to take steps ahead. I wouldn't have had the courage to be honest with you. You coming here early showed me how much you care, it showed me that I am worth a lot to you. It showed me that you're not a fleeting moment of ecstasy. It showed me you wanted to keep me and not lose me. It showed me that these past 8 months did matter to you. It showed me that the little box currently nesting in my front pocket is worth being handed to you.'

That's what I should have said.

"Nothing that I'd regret. Nothing that would make you question my commitment to this relationship that I have worked so fucking hard for, something you know better than anyone else", I said sharply, his eyes rolling as he returned his glare to look out the window. "What was the aim you had by telling me that? Telling me that this girl we had a fight about just earlier today, had made you change your sexual preference? It was bound to end us in a fight."

"We're a couple aren't we? We tell each other the truth and I felt like that was something I needed to tell you rather than conceal it. I'm not aiming to have a good fuck with Signe. I'm not aiming to do anything with her. She just made me see that women do have attractive features which I am now more open to acknowledging. Doesn't mean I'm changing the fact you and I are together", I looked at my coffee, finally deciding to sooth my dry throat.

"Still doesn't make sense why you didn't disclose your relationship with said sexuality changer girl", Mark gruffly mumbled, now taking his own drink and sipping on it. "Well, she's like me".

"What?" He rose a brow at me.

"Some people just make you question who you find alluring, isn't that what I did to you?" My lips twitched as I took another sip of my coffee, the weight of the small box being exceedingly apparent. My mind was fighting itself over what to do. I've been carrying this box for weeks, never knowing when or if I'd be able to use it.

Mark chuckled slightly and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know if this is quite the same thing".

"No, you were a fucking prick who hated me for being gay and it took you five months to realise that you're a fucking dumbass queer, just like me", I smirked to him, lowering my hand under the table to rub my thigh nervously. "I'm not a queer".

"Nor are you a gay".

"Precisely", I smiled and toyed at the box, etching it to the exit of my pocket as if daring myself to just go on with it.

"I just... I didn't want to hide it from you... I'm sorry for causing such a huge scene", I looked at him. "I'm glad you told me Sean... I'm sorry for accusing you of being unfaithful".

"I have... One more thing I'd like to... Bring up", I pulled out the box and held it under the table, fiddling it between my fingers. "What else is there? Aids?" He smirked nervously and my eyes widen. "Well..."

"Fuck you", he laughed at my teasing, shaking his head.

We stared at each other for a long moment, his eyes expectant and mine no doubt nervous. I sucked in a deep breath before exhaling once again, slipping the box back into the confines of my pocket. "I... I'm feeling really hungry... Can we go home and make pizza?" I pouted and Mark's eyes dulled slightly, but only for a moment, I saw a flash of disappointment cross his eyes.

"Yeah, of course".

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;)

Thank you so much for the praise and for getting my story up to where it is. I'm in disbelief and pure gratitude for each and everyone of you who supported my work. Thank you.

~ShadowIsEm~