I'm not gay

Mark

~Mark~

Sean could tell I was upset. There was no reason to hide how I felt and even if I were trying to act like I was perfectly fine, Sean would know better than that. He didn't pry, but I could tell he wanted to talk about it.

I can only assume he was waiting for me to bring it up first.

"Feeling better?" I asked faintly and I took his chin in my hand and rose his head to get a better look at his neck, which was slightly bruised.

"You worry too much", he responded and slapped my hand away.

"It's my job to worry. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't worry about you?" I kneeled so I could look into his eyes with a gentle smile, but he didn't seem to want to return the gesture.

"I'm more worried about you to be honest", he scrunched up his face into a cute frown and I smiled meekly, lifting my hand to his face and tracing my thumb over his bottom lip. I couldn't help myself most of the time, I always had this impulse to touch him.

I've never felt this way before. I've been in love before I met Sean but this probably was a lot deeper than my last romance. I always wanted to touch him, hold him or just watch him. I didn't care what it was, as long as it was him.

"You're adorable", I breathed and he scoffed, wrapping his fingers around my wrist and pulling my hand away from his face. "I want to talk about it Mark, it sucks but we really do need to talk about it."

I sighed. "Why do we need to talk about it?"

"Leaving it alone will only make it worse. I can tell it's eating away at you. You'll feel better if you allow me to console you! Talk to me Mark, we can work through this together. I don't want you to carry the burden alone", he cupped my cheeks in his smaller hands and stared at me with a determined expression.

I looked down.

"Please, I want you to trust me with these things."

"I do. I just don't know what to tell you. You know how it feels. It fucking sucks", I grew more bitter as the thoughts began spilling from my lips. "I've practically been disowned by my family Sean. I knew it was bound to happen but now that it has, I can't help but sulk about it. My family..." I closed my eyes and he rubbed his thumbs over my reddening cheeks.

The more I thought about it, the sadder I got. I wasn't sure what Sean could do to help, but at this point I didn't care.

I felt like I was falling into a spiral of despair, disgusted at myself because of how ashamed I was. Ashamed of what? I wasn't ashamed of Sean, god, I didn't regret accepting him into my life. Not one fucking bit.

"I feel so... Alone."

"Hey, look at me", Sean quickly spoke, squeezing my cheeks and ushering for my eyes to meet his.

"I know how you feel Mark, but I must tell you, you are not alone. Okay? I'm here, wholeheartedly. I'm here and I accept you. You've changed a lot about yourself for the best. You've changed a lot for me. You've made your own decision to do this, do you regret it?"

"No..."

"Are you unhappy with your decisions?"

"No..."

"Then you should be proud of yourself. If your family can't accept you for who you are, what the fuck is the point? You can't control how you feel, them burdening your emotions is a waste of space. If they can't accept you, even after all the years you spent together. They've known you your whole life and they are willing to throw all of that away because they can't agree with what makes you happy. They really aren't worth it", Sean stared at me with determination while tears welled up in my vision and I couldn't hold them back as I enveloped him into my arms while drawing him near.

I don't deserve him.

How did I manage to get him? After all I've done? I couldn't understand it. What if one day he realises his mistake and chooses to leave me? I wouldn't blame him but it would most likely kill me.

He's all I have now. He was all I wanted. He's all I needed.

"I love you so much", I whimpered into his chest and he let out a small chuckle as he placed a kiss on my head. "I love you more."

"Don't leave me."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"God... Sean, please marry me", I blurted and pulled away from him, taking his shoulders in my hands and looking into his eyes with a desperate desire.

His gaze softened before he opened his mouth to speak however I beat him to it.

"I'll do my damn best to be a good spouse... I won't ever go against your word! I'll do anything that'll ensure your happiness! But God, Sean please! Please do me the pleasure of saying you will be mine! Joined by vow, heart to heart! I won't be at ease until you're mine by law! I love you so much Jack! Fuck I'm so in love with you it hurts."

I must've sounded pretty pathetic at that moment. Sobbing like a baby as I begged him to marry me. I felt so emotionally vulnerable that I wouldn't notice abuse if it were to sway by me.

The filter between my heart and brain was sealed as my heart voiced itself earnestly.

Sean must've thought I was so pitiful.

At one point I was so above him, or at least I thought I was. I would've never believed that I'd be here, clinging to a man and pleading to be tied down with him. I would've laughed in your face if you told me this over a year ago.

"Mark..."

"I hope it doesn't feel like I'm pressuring you to do something you don't want to do because that's the last thing I want to do, I mean if you don't feel like you want to do that yet that's fine because I really-"

"You're rambling", He placed his hand over my mouth and giggled, my heart melting ten times over at the sound of his laughter.

"Listen, I have nothing against getting married Mark and of course it's going to be a yes but I must ensure that we take our time before we actually, hold the ceremony. You know? Let's get a house, settle this drama and then get to that business? Good?"

I stared at him blankly.

"Was... Was that?"

"Yes Mark, I'm saying yes", Sean giggled more as he cupped my cheeks and kissed my lips enthusiastically. "I'm yours."

It took me about 59 seconds before it clicked and my eyes shot wide open.

"Oh my god!" I tackled him in a hug and he shrieked before he burst out laughing, being smothered by the kisses I showered over his face.

He said yes...

_________________

I was suddenly struck with motivation while binge watching Sean's Valiant hearts playthrough and I had to pause the video and open a new tab to just write this fluffy cutesy chapter.

I was considering making a spice scene in this chapter but then I decided it would be too much for you all to handle.

Thanks again for all the support, really you all are so nice and I feel so honored from the compliments and the remarks it like.. Ah! I don't know how to handle it because it warms my heart so much!

Thank you. Really.

The votes have been narrowed down to two places now! This will be the final vote!

Canada.

or...

London.

Hope you enjoyed! Biiiii!

~ShadowIsEm~