Implemented Childhood [ DDLC fanfiction ]

Chapter Twenty One

Monika walks into her bedroom and locks her door. She went to her bed and laid there raising her hand as she look at it. "Now that I think about it I don't even know what love is. It feels like there's nothing for me to do since he isn't here anymore. The guy that will help Natsuki and Yuri before the festival that is." 

She slowly curls her fingers into a fist. "What can I do to change everything back?" Her mind slowly wonders if she could commit suicide, then again she didn't have any injuries after falling off the school building from the third floor. Monika gazed at the alarm clock beside her bed. "Maybe I can just close my eyes and see what happens on Monday." With her eyes closed she slowly falls asleep to the sound of the silent night sky. 

Suddenly Monika wakes up to the pain on the side of her head. "What the hell." She carefully glanced around the place, then she glanced at her body. "I'm back here again." She pinch herself in case she isn't dreaming, luckily the pain is real. Once again she glanced around the place, putting her hand on the pain she felt bandages wrapped around her head. 

Immediately she remembers Yasuki smacking her head with the can that she got for him. It sent her back to the present but he had already blocked Monika's administration ability from preventing the tragic event from happening. What was even more strange was the fact that she comes back to the past without any attempt whatsoever. Thinking about it makes her head aches even more.

Yumi walks into the room, "Ah, you're awake." 

"Yeah, how long was I out?" 

"For about six hours now. Your mother called the ambulance as soon as she saw you laying on the ground. It really scared me when Yasuki did that to you." She try to smile and she add, "Fortunately the doctor said that you only had a large bruise and that your brain wasn't damage. The hit was critical enough to just make you unconscious." 

Monika gets out of the bed, her head kept aching so she paused to sit on the edge. She feel like she could already pass out again.

"Don't start standing yet, you still need to rest." Yumi worried. 

"I have to go find him... Before he..." Tears automatically falls down her cheeks. "Why am I crying?" Then she think again. It's the little me, she's crying. Why is she crying? Monika couldn't stop the tears from overflowing in her eyes. Endlessly and quickly it blurs her vision.

No, stop crying. You have to stop crying. She began to also feel her heart aching. Monika doesn't notice it before, but she has more feelings toward Yasuki. Soon she stop trying and let her little self cry out loud. Effortlessly their feelings intertwined creating a sentiment that would scar both past and present. 

Yumi sits next to Monika patting her back. "Why are you crying?" 

"I'm helpless... and useless." said Monika thus the both of them having the same thoughts.

"You're not useless and it's okay to feel helpless at times." Yumi slowly wrap her arms around her, hugging her. "I understand how you feel. However, every part of you is perfect and you have all the unique talent that you could think of regardless of their perfection or imperfection. You can make a friend smile whenever they feel off, you can make plans and preparations, you can show your true self without having to worry about what others think, and most importantly you're a genuine and caring person. Everybody wants to be just like you." 

Sobbing, Monika hugs her back. She felt speechless to Yumi's words, everything she said is like a blown candle that is being light up once again. After letting her cry for a while they stopped hugging. Monika wipes her tears feeling more eased from the heavy feeling that she had. 

"Are you better now?" Yumi asked. 

She nod as a response. "I'm sorry if I was being dramatic."

Yumi shook her head. "There's no need for you to apologize. I totally understand how you feel, so I don't mind caring for a friend like you. Everyone has their share of pain and stress." 

Monika clears her mind with a sigh then she carefully stands up. "Then will you let me go find him? Please, I really have to." 

"Uhh... " Yumi looked like she didn't want her to do so, but Monika's concerning expression convinced her. "Alright, but I can't let you go alone. Haruhi and I will come with you." 

"No!" Monika averts her eyes facing her body toward the door. "It's between me and him only. You two... Have a happy and normal life together. I started the fire, I must be the one to end it." 

"Erm."

Before Yumi could say anything Monika had already left the room, She rushed to the front entrance of the hospital. Baring the aching pain on her head she would try to make sense of where Yasuki would be. Glancing around the sidewalks the lamp posts starts lighting the places.

Monika: